Musti Jok
• Judge:you are guilty of rape & fined Rs.11461.
Man:Mylord why exactly Rs.11461=00
Judge:Rs.10000 for rape
4% VAT,
and 10.2% Entertainment tax
*****************************************************
• kuch sal pahle ambani ka loan
IDBI bank ne reject kiya tha.
aaj ambani IDBI kharid rahe hai.
aaj subah hi ICICI bank ne mera loan reject kiya hai.
*****************************************************
• boy-main tumhe aaj sab sach batana chahta hun
ladki- kya??
boy-meri shadi ho gayi hai
ladki-thank god,
mujhe laga
ki ye BMW tumhari nahi hai.
*****************************************************
• Worlds shortest jokes:
1) 2 Women r sitting quiet.
2) 2 Sardars r playing chess.
3) GirlFriend pays the bill
Need more?
U r beautiful
*****************************************************
• Aaj 'Tom & Jerry' ki barsi hai.
Unki yad me pls ye sms kam se kam kisi 1 cartoon ko zrur send kare.
maine to apna farz pura kiya hai.
smile please
*****************************************************
• Good morning.
Thought of the day.
There is only one person who could ever make you happy and that person is you.
Good Day.
*****************************************************
• 'LOVE'
in France;is a comedy.
in England;;its tragedy.
in Italy;its wounder.
in Germany;its a drama.
But,
In India;NATIONAL GAME hai.
*****************************************************
• 75 sal k budhe ne 15 sal k ladki se shadi ki.
suhagrat pe dono bahut roye.
Y?
qnki ladki kuch janti nahi thi aur budha sub kuch bhul gaya tha.
*****************************************************
• raste me gadha ja raha tha.
Wife-tumhare rishtedar hai,
namaste to karo.
Husband- namaste sasurji.
*****************************************************
• Srdr-kal rat muze 1 chor ne chaku dikhakar lut liya.
Frnd-lekin tere pas to gun hai.
Srdr-wo maine chupa di thi,
varna vo bhi chori ho jati.
*****************************************************
• dosti nazron se hoto use khudrat kehte hai
sitaron se hoto use jannat kehte hai
husan se hoto use mohabbat kehte hai
aur aap se hoto use kismat ke
Sweet Jok
Sweet Jok
• Santa Guest Se: Thanda pioge ya Garam
Guest: Dono le aao.
Santa: Beta! 1 Glass Freezer se aur 1 glass Geezer se pani ka le Aao
*****************************************************
• Ko Ko Ko Ko Ko
Ko
Ko
Ko
.
Ko
.
Ko Ko Ko Ko
Bas kr ab
"ANDA"
de b do
*****************************************************
• Mallika ne Suicide Ka Plan banaya aur Railway Track par ja k So gyi
Dusre Din Khabar ayi
"RAJDHANI EXPRESS FARAR HO GYI"
*****************************************************
• Santa:
"Yaar 1Ladki muje hans ke dekh rhi h"
Frnd:"Abe Dhyan se dekh,Hans k dekh rhi h ya dekh k hans rhi h"
*****************************************************
• S:Mai Gana gata hu to tumara Kutta bhokne lgta h
B:Isme mere Kutte ki galti nhi, Bhokna pehle tumne shuru kiya hoga
*****************************************************
Sir se Panv Tk Kapde
Hatho me Daastane
Aur Dupatta Kandho pe
Sardiya(Winter) Ladkiya ko Tamizdaar bna deti h
*****************************************************
• Ye Jo ag Dil me Lagi hai Zamane me Laga Dunga
Teri Doli Jo Uthi toTo koi baat nahi Dusri Phansa Lunga
*****************************************************
• Santa: Yaar Me kal Film dekhne Theater gaya
Waha such much admi ko kat rhe the.
Banta: tu Kaun se Theatre gaya?
santa: Operation Theater
*****************************************************
• Teacher- Agar MainTeri Maa Hoti To Tuze 2 Dino Me Sudhar Deti
Studnt- Madam, Kal Tak Mai Apne Papa Se Baat Karke Apko Bata Duga
*****************************************************
• Galib Ne
Bhari Mehfil Me
Sher Mara
Galib Ne
Bhari Mehfil Me
Sher Mara.
Fir Kya Hua?
Fir Hona Kya Tha
Sherni Vidhwa Ho Gayi.
*****************************************************
• 2Mendak Baithe the
1 Bola- Tarr
2sra Bola Tarr
1 fir Bola Tarr
2sra Fir Bola Tarr
1 Bola Farr
to 2sra Bola yaar tu Topic mat change kar.
*****************************************************
• World bina ladkiyo k ho jaye to kya hoga?
Galiya sunsan
College viran
Duniya pareshan
Tanha insan
Na janu
Na jaan
Har taraf bAs
Jai HANUMAN
*****************************************************
• The Golden words are "Don't cry in Love"
because for whom u r crying does not deserve ur tears
& the person who deserves it will never let u cry.
*****************************************************
• Santa Guest Se: Thanda pioge ya Garam
Guest: Dono le aao.
Santa: Beta! 1 Glass Freezer se aur 1 glass Geezer se pani ka le Aao
*****************************************************
• Ko Ko Ko Ko Ko
Ko
Ko
Ko
.
Ko
.
Ko Ko Ko Ko
Bas kr ab
"ANDA"
de b do
*****************************************************
• Mallika ne Suicide Ka Plan banaya aur Railway Track par ja k So gyi
Dusre Din Khabar ayi
"RAJDHANI EXPRESS FARAR HO GYI"
*****************************************************
• Santa:
"Yaar 1Ladki muje hans ke dekh rhi h"
Frnd:"Abe Dhyan se dekh,Hans k dekh rhi h ya dekh k hans rhi h"
*****************************************************
• S:Mai Gana gata hu to tumara Kutta bhokne lgta h
B:Isme mere Kutte ki galti nhi, Bhokna pehle tumne shuru kiya hoga
*****************************************************
Sir se Panv Tk Kapde
Hatho me Daastane
Aur Dupatta Kandho pe
Sardiya(Winter) Ladkiya ko Tamizdaar bna deti h
*****************************************************
• Ye Jo ag Dil me Lagi hai Zamane me Laga Dunga
Teri Doli Jo Uthi toTo koi baat nahi Dusri Phansa Lunga
*****************************************************
• Santa: Yaar Me kal Film dekhne Theater gaya
Waha such much admi ko kat rhe the.
Banta: tu Kaun se Theatre gaya?
santa: Operation Theater
*****************************************************
• Teacher- Agar MainTeri Maa Hoti To Tuze 2 Dino Me Sudhar Deti
Studnt- Madam, Kal Tak Mai Apne Papa Se Baat Karke Apko Bata Duga
*****************************************************
• Galib Ne
Bhari Mehfil Me
Sher Mara
Galib Ne
Bhari Mehfil Me
Sher Mara.
Fir Kya Hua?
Fir Hona Kya Tha
Sherni Vidhwa Ho Gayi.
*****************************************************
• 2Mendak Baithe the
1 Bola- Tarr
2sra Bola Tarr
1 fir Bola Tarr
2sra Fir Bola Tarr
1 Bola Farr
to 2sra Bola yaar tu Topic mat change kar.
*****************************************************
• World bina ladkiyo k ho jaye to kya hoga?
Galiya sunsan
College viran
Duniya pareshan
Tanha insan
Na janu
Na jaan
Har taraf bAs
Jai HANUMAN
*****************************************************
• The Golden words are "Don't cry in Love"
because for whom u r crying does not deserve ur tears
& the person who deserves it will never let u cry.
*****************************************************
Peek Jok
Peek Jok
• chai cofee
chai cofee
chai cofee
chai cofee
chai cofee
chai cofee
chai cofee
ok, congrats
u are selected to work at railway st.
*****************************************************
• You can live without the person who says
"You are mine"
But you can not live without someone who says
"I am yours"
*****************************************************
• chota sardar:mummy kal raat ko,phir maine bathroom ka darvaja khola toh light apne aap jal gayi.
mummy:kaminey phir tune fridge main susu ki.
*****************************************************
• Darling mai tum se shaadi nahi karsakta gharwale mana karrahe he Girlfriend-Tumhare ghar me kaun kaun he
Sardar;1 biwi 3 bache
*****************************************************
• Teacher: Apna character saf rakhne k liye har aurat ko apni MAA samajna chahiye
Student: har aurat ko apni MAA samju to mere baap k character ka kya
*****************************************************
• Ek macchar ek takle ke sar par ja baita...
Dusra machar bola-Waha kya ghar dunda hai..
Pehla machar bola-Ghar kaha re abi to sirf PLOT karida hai
*****************************************************
• Do sharabi
1st-yar kitne baje honge?
dusra samnewali khidki pe pathar marta he
andar se avaj aati he
kaun he rat ke 2 baje hangama kar raha he.
*****************************************************
• chota sardar:mummy kal raat ko,phir maine bathroom ka darvaja khola toh light apne aap jal gayi.
mummy:kaminey phir tune fridge main susu ki.
*****************************************************
• Sardar to Girlfriend
Darling mai tum se shaadi nahi karsakta gharwale mana karrahe he Girlfriend-Tumhare ghar me kaun kaun he
Sardar;1 biwi 3 bache
*****************************************************
• 2 Lovers plan to suicide
Boy jumped
Girl closed her eyes & return back saying love is blind
Boy in air opened his parachute saying love never dies
*****************************************************
Wives r Incoming Calls
- Lovers r Outgoing Calls
- Aunties r Tollfree Calls
- Callgirls r Roaming Calls
- Neighbour Girls r Missed Calls
*****************************************************
• chai cofee
chai cofee
chai cofee
chai cofee
chai cofee
chai cofee
chai cofee
ok, congrats
u are selected to work at railway st.
*****************************************************
• You can live without the person who says
"You are mine"
But you can not live without someone who says
"I am yours"
*****************************************************
• chota sardar:mummy kal raat ko,phir maine bathroom ka darvaja khola toh light apne aap jal gayi.
mummy:kaminey phir tune fridge main susu ki.
*****************************************************
• Darling mai tum se shaadi nahi karsakta gharwale mana karrahe he Girlfriend-Tumhare ghar me kaun kaun he
Sardar;1 biwi 3 bache
*****************************************************
• Teacher: Apna character saf rakhne k liye har aurat ko apni MAA samajna chahiye
Student: har aurat ko apni MAA samju to mere baap k character ka kya
*****************************************************
• Ek macchar ek takle ke sar par ja baita...
Dusra machar bola-Waha kya ghar dunda hai..
Pehla machar bola-Ghar kaha re abi to sirf PLOT karida hai
*****************************************************
• Do sharabi
1st-yar kitne baje honge?
dusra samnewali khidki pe pathar marta he
andar se avaj aati he
kaun he rat ke 2 baje hangama kar raha he.
*****************************************************
• chota sardar:mummy kal raat ko,phir maine bathroom ka darvaja khola toh light apne aap jal gayi.
mummy:kaminey phir tune fridge main susu ki.
*****************************************************
• Sardar to Girlfriend
Darling mai tum se shaadi nahi karsakta gharwale mana karrahe he Girlfriend-Tumhare ghar me kaun kaun he
Sardar;1 biwi 3 bache
*****************************************************
• 2 Lovers plan to suicide
Boy jumped
Girl closed her eyes & return back saying love is blind
Boy in air opened his parachute saying love never dies
*****************************************************
Wives r Incoming Calls
- Lovers r Outgoing Calls
- Aunties r Tollfree Calls
- Callgirls r Roaming Calls
- Neighbour Girls r Missed Calls
*****************************************************
Natty Jok
Natty Jok
2 seater helicopter crashed in kabristan@punjab.
next day news punjab me
'hawai jahaj gira sardaro ne 250 lashe dhund nikali,
aur bhi talashi jari
*****************************************************
• Husband aur wife hotel me gaye.
1 ladki ne Hello kiya.
Wife-kaun thi ye??
Husband-dimag kharab mat karo,
usko bhi batana hai ke tum kaun ho.
*****************************************************
• Munna bhai:
bole to murga or murgi me fark kese karne ka
Circuit: Tension nahi lene ka BHAI
patther marne ka
Bhaga to murga
Bhagi to murgi
*****************************************************
• techr-badh aur sukhe m farq batao
stdnt-jamin,asman ka farq hota he
techr-vo kaise
stdnt-mantri sukhe m jeep se daura karte & badh m helicopter se
*****************************************************
• sardar g ko invitation mila k aap ne function m red tie pehn k aana hai.Sardar g function paunche to dekha
k k k
logon ne pant shirt bhi pahni hai.
*****************************************************
• Ae khuda mere is dost ko
Hathi ki takat
Sher ki awaz
Chetay ki speed
Or Hiran sa sundar roop de.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Baki KHOTAY ka DIMAG to he
*****************************************************
• Husband: Kal mere khawab me 1 larki aye thi
Wah Kia Larki thi
Wife: Akeli ayee hogi
Hsbnd: Tumhe kese pata
Wife: Uska pati mere sapne me aya tha
*****************************************************
• Degrees of girls!
B.A.-Beautiful Angel
B.E.-Beautiful Eyes
B.Sc.-Beautiful Structure
B.Com-Beautiful Communication
M.B.A.-Married But Awesome!
*****************************************************
• U r very special 4 me
U should b safe always
U should b safe my dear
I cant b wid u all time
So pls b careful wenever u
Jump from tree to tree.
*****************************************************
• I'm Happy, U know Why?
Bcose I'm Lucky, U know Why?
Because GOD Love me, U know How?
He sent the best friend to me u know Who?
DEFINITELY U...
*****************************************************
2 seater helicopter crashed in kabristan@punjab.
next day news punjab me
'hawai jahaj gira sardaro ne 250 lashe dhund nikali,
aur bhi talashi jari
*****************************************************
• Husband aur wife hotel me gaye.
1 ladki ne Hello kiya.
Wife-kaun thi ye??
Husband-dimag kharab mat karo,
usko bhi batana hai ke tum kaun ho.
*****************************************************
• Munna bhai:
bole to murga or murgi me fark kese karne ka
Circuit: Tension nahi lene ka BHAI
patther marne ka
Bhaga to murga
Bhagi to murgi
*****************************************************
• techr-badh aur sukhe m farq batao
stdnt-jamin,asman ka farq hota he
techr-vo kaise
stdnt-mantri sukhe m jeep se daura karte & badh m helicopter se
*****************************************************
• sardar g ko invitation mila k aap ne function m red tie pehn k aana hai.Sardar g function paunche to dekha
k k k
logon ne pant shirt bhi pahni hai.
*****************************************************
• Ae khuda mere is dost ko
Hathi ki takat
Sher ki awaz
Chetay ki speed
Or Hiran sa sundar roop de.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Baki KHOTAY ka DIMAG to he
*****************************************************
• Husband: Kal mere khawab me 1 larki aye thi
Wah Kia Larki thi
Wife: Akeli ayee hogi
Hsbnd: Tumhe kese pata
Wife: Uska pati mere sapne me aya tha
*****************************************************
• Degrees of girls!
B.A.-Beautiful Angel
B.E.-Beautiful Eyes
B.Sc.-Beautiful Structure
B.Com-Beautiful Communication
M.B.A.-Married But Awesome!
*****************************************************
• U r very special 4 me
U should b safe always
U should b safe my dear
I cant b wid u all time
So pls b careful wenever u
Jump from tree to tree.
*****************************************************
• I'm Happy, U know Why?
Bcose I'm Lucky, U know Why?
Because GOD Love me, U know How?
He sent the best friend to me u know Who?
DEFINITELY U...
*****************************************************
Like Jok
Like Jok
• Best Sher of 2009
Choti si Billi k Chote chote Paaon
Wah wah
Gor Farmaye
Choti si Billi k Chote chote Paaon
Fir Vo Boli
Meaon Meaon.
*****************************************************
• Santa Ko Uske Dost ne Khane par bulya
ghar pe tala tha Aur Likha tha
"Bevkuf Banaya"
Santa Ne Niche Likha
"Maine aaya Hi nahi"
*****************************************************
• Pappu-Yar Mai bohat preshan hu..
Dipu-Kyun Kya Huwa..?
Pappu-Yaar subah se hum ko koi battery low k number se miss call de raha hai
*****************************************************
• "BTFHOEFBNGOA"
Uper Diye Huye Words Me Se
O, B, F
Delete Kar De
Aur Hasil Kre
Ek Khoobsorat Eid Gift
*****************************************************
• Ye Chand b Kya Gazab dhata h..
Ye Chand b Kya Gazab dhata h..
Bachpan me Mama aur Jawani me Sanam nazar aata hai.
*****************************************************
• SUCCESS FORMULA
Sleep 8 Hours..
Work 8 Hours..
&
Mak Sure dt dey r Nt d
"Same Hours"..!!
*****************************************************
Santa ki behen ko daku utha le gye.
Logo ne kaha ki daku khatarnak h khali hath mat jana !
Fir kya Santa do kilo aam le gYa
*****************************************************
• Saas bahu se:
Aaj se tum mujhe Maa or Sasur ko papa kahna
Bahu: samjh gayi
Sham ko uske pati ghar aye to boli:
Maa ji bhaiya ghr aye hai
*****************************************************
• U r My Best Friend bharosa Nahi?
Chalo fir
KutubMinar Par Chadenge Mai 123 Bolonga Tum
Kud Jana
Bad Me Jab Aap 123 Bolonge Tab Maine Kud Jaynga
*****************************************************
• Raat hogi to nind aygi
Neend ayegi to khawab aynge
Khwab aynge to ap aynge
Ap aynge to apke baap B ayenge
Phir n nind ayegi,n khawab ayenge
*****************************************************
• U r a DOG!
-
kyu bura laga na?
-
DOG means
-
D=Don
O=Of
G=Girls
-
nw u r smiling?
-
U naughty DOG!
• Tchar to Pappu-Jo Dusro Ko Apni Baat Na Samjha Sake Wo Gadha Hota He
Pappu-Sir,Kya Matlab Mai Samjha Nai
*****************************************************
• Best Sher of 2009
Choti si Billi k Chote chote Paaon
Wah wah
Gor Farmaye
Choti si Billi k Chote chote Paaon
Fir Vo Boli
Meaon Meaon.
*****************************************************
• Santa Ko Uske Dost ne Khane par bulya
ghar pe tala tha Aur Likha tha
"Bevkuf Banaya"
Santa Ne Niche Likha
"Maine aaya Hi nahi"
*****************************************************
• Pappu-Yar Mai bohat preshan hu..
Dipu-Kyun Kya Huwa..?
Pappu-Yaar subah se hum ko koi battery low k number se miss call de raha hai
*****************************************************
• "BTFHOEFBNGOA"
Uper Diye Huye Words Me Se
O, B, F
Delete Kar De
Aur Hasil Kre
Ek Khoobsorat Eid Gift
*****************************************************
• Ye Chand b Kya Gazab dhata h..
Ye Chand b Kya Gazab dhata h..
Bachpan me Mama aur Jawani me Sanam nazar aata hai.
*****************************************************
• SUCCESS FORMULA
Sleep 8 Hours..
Work 8 Hours..
&
Mak Sure dt dey r Nt d
"Same Hours"..!!
*****************************************************
Santa ki behen ko daku utha le gye.
Logo ne kaha ki daku khatarnak h khali hath mat jana !
Fir kya Santa do kilo aam le gYa
*****************************************************
• Saas bahu se:
Aaj se tum mujhe Maa or Sasur ko papa kahna
Bahu: samjh gayi
Sham ko uske pati ghar aye to boli:
Maa ji bhaiya ghr aye hai
*****************************************************
• U r My Best Friend bharosa Nahi?
Chalo fir
KutubMinar Par Chadenge Mai 123 Bolonga Tum
Kud Jana
Bad Me Jab Aap 123 Bolonge Tab Maine Kud Jaynga
*****************************************************
• Raat hogi to nind aygi
Neend ayegi to khawab aynge
Khwab aynge to ap aynge
Ap aynge to apke baap B ayenge
Phir n nind ayegi,n khawab ayenge
*****************************************************
• U r a DOG!
-
kyu bura laga na?
-
DOG means
-
D=Don
O=Of
G=Girls
-
nw u r smiling?
-
U naughty DOG!
• Tchar to Pappu-Jo Dusro Ko Apni Baat Na Samjha Sake Wo Gadha Hota He
Pappu-Sir,Kya Matlab Mai Samjha Nai
*****************************************************
Teacher-Student Jok
Teacher-Student Jok
• If U Kiss Me
U'll B In Danger
If U Miss Me
U'll B Safe
Shocked Na.!
Aisa Lorry K
Piche Likha
Tha Yaar.!
*****************************************************
• Teacher- Hume Garibo Ke Sath Humesha Pyar Se Pesh Aana Chaiye..
Student- Aaccha Aab Me Samjha.. PAPA Aksar Nokrani Ko Galey Kyu Lagate Hai
*****************************************************
• Girl- Mujse Shadi Karni H To Tumhe Har Hafte
10Kg Atta Aur Car K Liye 20Litre Petrol Dena Hoga
Boy- Aacha BEHAN Chalta Hu
Ami-Abu Ko Salam Bolna
*****************************************************
• Museebat Mai Ho to
Kabhi Ye Na Socho k Konsa Dost Kaam Aayega..
.
.
.
Balki
.
.
.
Ye Socho Ke
Ab Konsa Dost AUQAAT Dikhayega
*****************************************************
• Rocket-Rs75
Bomb-50
Anaar-90
PhulJhadi-40
Chakri-90
Total-345
Wastage Of Money
ROYAL STAG-180
Piyo
Patakhe Aapne Aap Bajenge
*HAPPY DIWALI*
*****************************************************
• ladka ladki se-Jaan muje tumhari ankhon me
sari dunya ka nazara nazr ata hai
Ladki ka dost bola:
zara dekh ke batao meri bhens kaha hai
*****************************************************
• Ek Bacha Paida Hote Hi
Nurse Se bola-LIGHT AARAHI HAI?
Nurse-No
Bacha-
Oh Shit
.
.
.
.
.
.
INDIA Me Hua Hu
*****************************************************
• 1 Admi-Apni G/F Ka MOBILE Check Karta H
Ye Dekhne K Liye K Usne Kis Naam Se
Uska Number Save Kiya Hai Jab Usne Misscall Di
To Likha Aya-MURGA No 8
*****************************************************
• Wishng U HAPPY DIWALI
I know Ye jaldi he
par kya kru
Bahut sari young,dashing,
smart Frnds ko wish Karna he
Socha ki pehle BUZURGO ko nipta lu..
*****************************************************
• Tchr-Bade Ho K Kya KroGe
S-Shadi
T-Kya Bnoge
S-Dulha
T-Bade Ho K Kya Hasil Kroge
S-Dulhan
T-Uffo Aisa Kya Kroge,Jo Tmne Kbi Nai Kia
S-Nikkah
*****************************************************
• I PRAY 2 MAALAXMI 2 GIV U SAMRIDHI SHANTI SHAKTI SAMPATTI SANSKAR SWARUP SANYAM SADGI SAFALTA SWASTHYA SAMMAN SARASWATI & SNEH-WISH U HAPPY
DIWALI
*****************************************************
• Lalu To Rabdi-UP Me Sab log Muje Pataka Kehte Hai
Lalu-Oh ! Kaho To Is Diwali Tumhe FOD Du.
*****************************************************
• Ur Eyes Patakha
Ur Lips Rocket
Ur Ears Chingari
Ur Smile Phuljadi
Ur Style Anar
Ur Personality Bomb
Chal Beta nikal le Koi TEELI na Laga De
*****************************************************
• santa Was Kissing A Blank Paper
banta-Ye Kya Hai?
s-Mri GF Ka Love Letter He
banta-Magar Ye Toh Khali He
santa-Aaj-kal Hum baat nahi kar rahe hai
*****************************************************
• santa ko Exam mai Koi Sawal Nhi Aata He
To
Wo Hr Ques K Neche
||||||||||||
Aisi Line Laga K Neche Likhta H
Scratch Kr K Answer Parh Lo
*****************************************************
• Judge-Tumne Chori Ki Thi
Chor-Ji.Ha
Judge-Tumne Chori Kaise Ki
Chor-Rahne Do Sahab!
Ab Is Umar Me Aap Chori Ke Gun Sikh Kar Kya Karoge
*****************************************************
Ab Aap Is SMS K Zariye Apne Mobile Per STAR PLUS Bilkul Free Dekh Sakte He
Woh B24Hours
Neeche Dekhiye
*+
*****************************************************
• Ek behra dusre se- Nahane ja rahe ho?
Dusra behra- Nahi, nahane ja raha hu
Pehla- Acha, mujhe laga nahane ja rahe ho
*****************************************************
• Santa won loottery worth rs.20cr
dealer gave him 11cr after deductinjg tax
San-oye dealer
Ya muje pure 20cr dede ya mere 20rs vapas kar de
*****************************************************
• Wash ur Mobile
Cut it Into Small Pices Fry it
Ad Spices N Some Oil
ur Mobile Pickle isReady
apke Cell Se call,Sms to Hote nhi achar Hi Dal Lo
*****************************************************
• If U Kiss Me
U'll B In Danger
If U Miss Me
U'll B Safe
Shocked Na.!
Aisa Lorry K
Piche Likha
Tha Yaar.!
*****************************************************
• Teacher- Hume Garibo Ke Sath Humesha Pyar Se Pesh Aana Chaiye..
Student- Aaccha Aab Me Samjha.. PAPA Aksar Nokrani Ko Galey Kyu Lagate Hai
*****************************************************
• Girl- Mujse Shadi Karni H To Tumhe Har Hafte
10Kg Atta Aur Car K Liye 20Litre Petrol Dena Hoga
Boy- Aacha BEHAN Chalta Hu
Ami-Abu Ko Salam Bolna
*****************************************************
• Museebat Mai Ho to
Kabhi Ye Na Socho k Konsa Dost Kaam Aayega..
.
.
.
Balki
.
.
.
Ye Socho Ke
Ab Konsa Dost AUQAAT Dikhayega
*****************************************************
• Rocket-Rs75
Bomb-50
Anaar-90
PhulJhadi-40
Chakri-90
Total-345
Wastage Of Money
ROYAL STAG-180
Piyo
Patakhe Aapne Aap Bajenge
*HAPPY DIWALI*
*****************************************************
• ladka ladki se-Jaan muje tumhari ankhon me
sari dunya ka nazara nazr ata hai
Ladki ka dost bola:
zara dekh ke batao meri bhens kaha hai
*****************************************************
• Ek Bacha Paida Hote Hi
Nurse Se bola-LIGHT AARAHI HAI?
Nurse-No
Bacha-
Oh Shit
.
.
.
.
.
.
INDIA Me Hua Hu
*****************************************************
• 1 Admi-Apni G/F Ka MOBILE Check Karta H
Ye Dekhne K Liye K Usne Kis Naam Se
Uska Number Save Kiya Hai Jab Usne Misscall Di
To Likha Aya-MURGA No 8
*****************************************************
• Wishng U HAPPY DIWALI
I know Ye jaldi he
par kya kru
Bahut sari young,dashing,
smart Frnds ko wish Karna he
Socha ki pehle BUZURGO ko nipta lu..
*****************************************************
• Tchr-Bade Ho K Kya KroGe
S-Shadi
T-Kya Bnoge
S-Dulha
T-Bade Ho K Kya Hasil Kroge
S-Dulhan
T-Uffo Aisa Kya Kroge,Jo Tmne Kbi Nai Kia
S-Nikkah
*****************************************************
• I PRAY 2 MAALAXMI 2 GIV U SAMRIDHI SHANTI SHAKTI SAMPATTI SANSKAR SWARUP SANYAM SADGI SAFALTA SWASTHYA SAMMAN SARASWATI & SNEH-WISH U HAPPY
DIWALI
*****************************************************
• Lalu To Rabdi-UP Me Sab log Muje Pataka Kehte Hai
Lalu-Oh ! Kaho To Is Diwali Tumhe FOD Du.
*****************************************************
• Ur Eyes Patakha
Ur Lips Rocket
Ur Ears Chingari
Ur Smile Phuljadi
Ur Style Anar
Ur Personality Bomb
Chal Beta nikal le Koi TEELI na Laga De
*****************************************************
• santa Was Kissing A Blank Paper
banta-Ye Kya Hai?
s-Mri GF Ka Love Letter He
banta-Magar Ye Toh Khali He
santa-Aaj-kal Hum baat nahi kar rahe hai
*****************************************************
• santa ko Exam mai Koi Sawal Nhi Aata He
To
Wo Hr Ques K Neche
||||||||||||
Aisi Line Laga K Neche Likhta H
Scratch Kr K Answer Parh Lo
*****************************************************
• Judge-Tumne Chori Ki Thi
Chor-Ji.Ha
Judge-Tumne Chori Kaise Ki
Chor-Rahne Do Sahab!
Ab Is Umar Me Aap Chori Ke Gun Sikh Kar Kya Karoge
*****************************************************
Ab Aap Is SMS K Zariye Apne Mobile Per STAR PLUS Bilkul Free Dekh Sakte He
Woh B24Hours
Neeche Dekhiye
*+
*****************************************************
• Ek behra dusre se- Nahane ja rahe ho?
Dusra behra- Nahi, nahane ja raha hu
Pehla- Acha, mujhe laga nahane ja rahe ho
*****************************************************
• Santa won loottery worth rs.20cr
dealer gave him 11cr after deductinjg tax
San-oye dealer
Ya muje pure 20cr dede ya mere 20rs vapas kar de
*****************************************************
• Wash ur Mobile
Cut it Into Small Pices Fry it
Ad Spices N Some Oil
ur Mobile Pickle isReady
apke Cell Se call,Sms to Hote nhi achar Hi Dal Lo
*****************************************************
Best Jok
Best Jok
• Whats d Similarity Between Indian Cricket team
&
Farmers?
.
.
.
.
Guess?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Both will be "HAPPY"
when it
"RAINS"
*****************************************************
• Suna hai ki aap ki ek smile par log marte hai
So keep smiling
to reduce population
Aab bas bhi karo
sab ko aaj hi tapkana he kya??
*****************************************************
• Maths Teacher Was Teaching
Mathematical Conversions
Teacher-If
1000 Kgs= Ton
Then
For 3000 Kgs
=How Much?
santa-
Ton!Ton!Ton!
*****************************************************
• 1 pathan angoor bech rha tha
mgr keh rha tha aalu le lo aalu
2sry admi ne kha yeh to angoor hai
Pathan. Chup ho jao wrna makhia aa jayegi
*****************************************************
• 1ladki 2sri Se
Mujhy To Aisa Larka
Chahiye Jo
Charsi Ho
Sharabi Ho
Mela ho
Badbudaar Ho
2sri ladki:Chal
Kameeni Msg Padne
Wala Sirf Mera H
*****************************************************
• HUSBND: Kya Tumne Muje KUTTA kaha?
>No Answr
Husbnd asks again
>No Answr
He askd again
>WIFE:Nhi kaha
Aur Plz ab Bhokna band kro
*****************************************************
Lo Meri GIRL-FRND ka Photo dekho..
Thoda aur aage
Thoda aur
Nhi dikhi?
Kamine, BHABHI ki Nazar se dekta to Zarur dikhti!
*****************************************************
• >2Sardars In Rickshaw fyting 4Cornr Seat
>Tum Baap banne wale ho pr ye tumari Biwi ko nhi pata
>Tum FTV me Saniya Mirza k ane k Sapne deko
*****************************************************
• Teacher To Student :
Can U Define Who Is LECTURER?
Student: LECTURER Is A Person Who Has A Very Bad Habit Of Speaking Wn Sum1 Is Sleeping
*****************************************************
• Teacher To Student :
Can U Define Who Is LECTURER?
Student: LECTURER Is A Person Who Has A Very Bad Habit Of Speaking Wn Sum1 Is Sleeping
*****************************************************
• Na koi kisi se door hota hai,Na koi kisi ke kareeb hota hai,Pyar khud chal kar aata hai, Jab koi kisi ka naseeb hota hai.
*****************************************************
• Remember to show your support and appreciation for the people who place their hope in you.These are the most important people in your life.
*****************************************************
• Raaz dil ka dil mein chupate hai woh,Samne aate hi nazar jhukate hai woh,Baat karte nahi, ya hoti nahi,Par jab bhi milte hai muskurate hai woh
*****************************************************
• Soneri Suryachi.
Soneri Kirane.
Soneri Kiranancha.
Soneri Diwas....
Soneri Diwasachya.
Soneri Shubhechchha.
Keval.
Sonyasarkhya mitrana....
*****************************************************
• Nasa- Santa Ji Congratulation u r selcted to go to moon 2mrow n Collect sum water.
Santa: no u r Cheating me.
Nasa: y?
Santa: 2mrow is Amavasya
*****************************************************
• SANTA-Bujhi Hui Cigarete pee raha tha
BANTA- Dhuwa to nikal Nahi raha hai
SANTA- Pagal! Cigarette CNG par hai
*****************************************************
• Gulab to Gulab hai,
chahe Sone k Kunde me rakho ya Mitti ke Gamle me
Dost to Aap hamare hi ho,
Chahe Aap Central Jail mein raho ya Pagal khane mei
*****************************************************
• Santa Ko Uske Dost ne Khane par bulya
ghar pe tala tha Aur Likha tha
"Bevkuf Banaya"
Santa Ne Niche Likha
"Maine aaya Hi nahi
*****************************************************
• Hindi Teacher-
Kaal Kitne Prakar k Hote hai?
Santa 6
Local Kaal
STD Kaal
Missed Kaal
Recived Kaal
Dialed Kaal
and
Satsri a Kaal
*****************************************************
• Whats d Similarity Between Indian Cricket team
&
Farmers?
.
.
.
.
Guess?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Both will be "HAPPY"
when it
"RAINS"
*****************************************************
• Suna hai ki aap ki ek smile par log marte hai
So keep smiling
to reduce population
Aab bas bhi karo
sab ko aaj hi tapkana he kya??
*****************************************************
• Maths Teacher Was Teaching
Mathematical Conversions
Teacher-If
1000 Kgs= Ton
Then
For 3000 Kgs
=How Much?
santa-
Ton!Ton!Ton!
*****************************************************
• 1 pathan angoor bech rha tha
mgr keh rha tha aalu le lo aalu
2sry admi ne kha yeh to angoor hai
Pathan. Chup ho jao wrna makhia aa jayegi
*****************************************************
• 1ladki 2sri Se
Mujhy To Aisa Larka
Chahiye Jo
Charsi Ho
Sharabi Ho
Mela ho
Badbudaar Ho
2sri ladki:Chal
Kameeni Msg Padne
Wala Sirf Mera H
*****************************************************
• HUSBND: Kya Tumne Muje KUTTA kaha?
>No Answr
Husbnd asks again
>No Answr
He askd again
>WIFE:Nhi kaha
Aur Plz ab Bhokna band kro
*****************************************************
Lo Meri GIRL-FRND ka Photo dekho..
Thoda aur aage
Thoda aur
Nhi dikhi?
Kamine, BHABHI ki Nazar se dekta to Zarur dikhti!
*****************************************************
• >2Sardars In Rickshaw fyting 4Cornr Seat
>Tum Baap banne wale ho pr ye tumari Biwi ko nhi pata
>Tum FTV me Saniya Mirza k ane k Sapne deko
*****************************************************
• Teacher To Student :
Can U Define Who Is LECTURER?
Student: LECTURER Is A Person Who Has A Very Bad Habit Of Speaking Wn Sum1 Is Sleeping
*****************************************************
• Teacher To Student :
Can U Define Who Is LECTURER?
Student: LECTURER Is A Person Who Has A Very Bad Habit Of Speaking Wn Sum1 Is Sleeping
*****************************************************
• Na koi kisi se door hota hai,Na koi kisi ke kareeb hota hai,Pyar khud chal kar aata hai, Jab koi kisi ka naseeb hota hai.
*****************************************************
• Remember to show your support and appreciation for the people who place their hope in you.These are the most important people in your life.
*****************************************************
• Raaz dil ka dil mein chupate hai woh,Samne aate hi nazar jhukate hai woh,Baat karte nahi, ya hoti nahi,Par jab bhi milte hai muskurate hai woh
*****************************************************
• Soneri Suryachi.
Soneri Kirane.
Soneri Kiranancha.
Soneri Diwas....
Soneri Diwasachya.
Soneri Shubhechchha.
Keval.
Sonyasarkhya mitrana....
*****************************************************
• Nasa- Santa Ji Congratulation u r selcted to go to moon 2mrow n Collect sum water.
Santa: no u r Cheating me.
Nasa: y?
Santa: 2mrow is Amavasya
*****************************************************
• SANTA-Bujhi Hui Cigarete pee raha tha
BANTA- Dhuwa to nikal Nahi raha hai
SANTA- Pagal! Cigarette CNG par hai
*****************************************************
• Gulab to Gulab hai,
chahe Sone k Kunde me rakho ya Mitti ke Gamle me
Dost to Aap hamare hi ho,
Chahe Aap Central Jail mein raho ya Pagal khane mei
*****************************************************
• Santa Ko Uske Dost ne Khane par bulya
ghar pe tala tha Aur Likha tha
"Bevkuf Banaya"
Santa Ne Niche Likha
"Maine aaya Hi nahi
*****************************************************
• Hindi Teacher-
Kaal Kitne Prakar k Hote hai?
Santa 6
Local Kaal
STD Kaal
Missed Kaal
Recived Kaal
Dialed Kaal
and
Satsri a Kaal
*****************************************************
Pati-Patni Jok
Pati-Patni Jok
• Saas- Bahu.. Aaj Se Tum Mujhe Mummi Aur Sasur Ko Papa Kehna
Bahu- Thik Hai
Shaam Ko Jab Pati Ghar Aaye, Patni Boli- Maaji.. Bhaiya Ghar Aa Gaye hai
*****************************************************
• Saas- Bahu.. Aaj Se Tum Mujhe Mummi Aur Sasur Ko Papa Kehna
Bahu- Thik Hai
Shaam Ko Jab Pati Ghar Aaye, Patni Boli- Maaji.. Bhaiya Ghar Aa Gaye hai
*****************************************************
• Papad Aur Jhapad Me Kya Fark Hai?
?
Socho..
?
Sochte Raho..
?
Socho..
?
Bass Yaar..
Aab
Sochna Bandh Karo..
KHA KE DEKH LO
*****************************************************
• Dad:Puttar Tujhe yaha se Delhi Jne me 1 Din or aane me 3 Din Q?
Bantu:ye car Banne wale b Pagal h
jane k liye 4 or aane k liye 1 Giyar diy
*****************************************************
• Nokar:Saab Aapke Kisi Khass Dost Ka Ph aay tha.
Saab: Tujhe Ksie pata K vo mera Khas Dost hai?
Nokar: Wo Puch rhe the "Kamine Ko Ph do"
*****************************************************
• Bade Zalim He Teri Gali Ke Bache
aeSOHAIL
Kutte Piche Laga Ke Bolte Hai..
Race Sanso Ki
Race Dhadkan Ki..
*****************************************************
• Kid-Aj Papa N Bus Me Muje Kaha k Aunty Ko Bethne K Liye Jaga De Do
Mom-Fir Tumne Jaga Di
K-No
M-Q
K-Mai Khud Papa Ki Goad Me Betha Tha
*****************************************************
• Girl: Mujhe 1 aysa husband chahiye jo achi achi baate kare, hansi mazaq kare or muje songs sunaye
Boy:Tusi hsbd k badle Fm RADIO kharid le
*****************************************************
• Santa Was Driving A Jeep In A Jungle.!
Tourist:How Do U Escape If A Lion Comes Now.?
Santa:Give d Indicator Of Rite Side And Turn Left...!
*****************************************************
• Banta-yar santa,tu mujhe hamesha bewakuf kyu banata rehta hai.
santa- kyu ki tu banta hai.
*****************************************************
• Mere ghar ke samne se bhagi ek "ghodi" wah..wah.
mere ghar ke samne se bhagi ek "ghodi"
wah wah
fir bhage tum aur "rab ne bnadi jodi"
*****************************************************
• Ladki Wale- Hume Aisa Ladka Chaiye Jo Kuch khata Pita Na Ho Aur Galat Kam Na Karta Ho
Pandit- Aisa Ladka Apko ICU K Emergnecy Ward Me Hi Milega
*****************************************************
• Agr Question Paper Tuff Lage
Ya Samajh Me Na aye
To
1 Gehri Saans Lo aur
Zor Se Chillao
Kamino Fail Hi Krna He
To Exam Kyo Lete Ho?
*****************************************************
• Boy:Surj hua madhm chand dhalne laga
mai thehra rha zami chlne lgi sajni kya yehi pyar hai?
Girl:arre nalayk ye earthquake hai
*****************************************************
• Ek Chor
Ek Gangster
Aur
Ek Murderer
Ek Hi Gadi Me Jaa Rahe The..
Tab
Wo Gadi Kaun Chala Raha Tha
?
?
Socho
?
?
Ek POLICE OFFICER
*****************************************************
• Doc-
Ye Syrup 2 Spoon Subha
2 Dopahar
2 Raat ko
3 Din Tak Lena he
RAAZ-Apna Dawai Apna Pas Rakho
Mere Ghar Me Itna Chamach Nahi He
*****************************************************
Doc-
Ye Syrup 2 Spoon Subha
2 Dopahar
2 Raat ko
3 Din Tak Lena he
RAAZ-Apna Dawai Apna Pas Rakho
Mere Ghar Me Itna Chamach Nahi He
*****************************************************
Baby mosquito came back after its first time flying!
His dad asked him, "how do u feel?"
He replied, "it was wonderful, every1 was clapping 4 me!
*****************************************************
• Saas- Bahu.. Aaj Se Tum Mujhe Mummi Aur Sasur Ko Papa Kehna
Bahu- Thik Hai
Shaam Ko Jab Pati Ghar Aaye, Patni Boli- Maaji.. Bhaiya Ghar Aa Gaye hai
*****************************************************
• Saas- Bahu.. Aaj Se Tum Mujhe Mummi Aur Sasur Ko Papa Kehna
Bahu- Thik Hai
Shaam Ko Jab Pati Ghar Aaye, Patni Boli- Maaji.. Bhaiya Ghar Aa Gaye hai
*****************************************************
• Papad Aur Jhapad Me Kya Fark Hai?
?
Socho..
?
Sochte Raho..
?
Socho..
?
Bass Yaar..
Aab
Sochna Bandh Karo..
KHA KE DEKH LO
*****************************************************
• Dad:Puttar Tujhe yaha se Delhi Jne me 1 Din or aane me 3 Din Q?
Bantu:ye car Banne wale b Pagal h
jane k liye 4 or aane k liye 1 Giyar
*****************************************************
• Nokar:Saab Aapke Kisi Khass Dost Ka Ph aay tha.
Saab: Tujhe Ksie pata K vo mera Khas Dost hai?
Nokar: Wo Puch rhe the "Kamine Ko Ph do"
*****************************************************
• Bade Zalim He Teri Gali Ke Bache
aeSOHAIL
Kutte Piche Laga Ke Bolte Hai..
Race Sanso Ki
Race Dhadkan Ki..
*****************************************************
• Kid-Aj Papa N Bus Me Muje Kaha k Aunty Ko Bethne K Liye Jaga De Do
Mom-Fir Tumne Jaga Di
K-No
M-Q
K-Mai Khud Papa Ki Goad Me Betha Tha
*****************************************************
• Girl: Mujhe 1 aysa husband chahiye jo achi achi baate kare, hansi mazaq kare or muje songs sunaye
Boy:Tusi hsbd k badle Fm RADIO kharid le
*****************************************************
• Santa Was Driving A Jeep In A Jungle.!
Tourist:How Do U Escape If A Lion Comes Now.?
Santa:Give d Indicator Of Rite Side And Turn Left...!
*****************************************************
• Banta-yar santa,tu mujhe hamesha bewakuf kyu banata rehta hai.
santa- kyu ki tu banta hai.
*****************************************************
• Mere ghar ke samne se bhagi ek "ghodi" wah..wah.
mere ghar ke samne se bhagi ek "ghodi"
wah wah
fir bhage tum aur "rab ne bnadi jodi"
*****************************************************
• Ladki Wale- Hume Aisa Ladka Chaiye Jo Kuch khata Pita Na Ho Aur Galat Kam Na Karta Ho
Pandit- Aisa Ladka Apko ICU K Emergnecy Ward Me Hi Milega
*****************************************************
• Agr Question Paper Tuff Lage
Ya Samajh Me Na aye
To
1 Gehri Saans Lo aur
Zor Se Chillao
Kamino Fail Hi Krna He
To Exam Kyo Lete Ho?
*****************************************************
• Boy:Surj hua madhm chand dhalne laga
mai thehra rha zami chlne lgi sajni kya yehi pyar hai?
Girl:arre nalayk ye earthquake hai
*****************************************************
• Ek Chor
Ek Gangster
Aur
Ek Murderer
Ek Hi Gadi Me Jaa Rahe The..
Tab
Wo Gadi Kaun Chala Raha Tha
?
?
Socho
?
?
Ek POLICE OFFICER
*****************************************************
• Doc-
Ye Syrup 2 Spoon Subha
2 Dopahar
2 Raat ko
3 Din Tak Lena he
RAAZ-Apna Dawai Apna Pas Rakho
Mere Ghar Me Itna Chamach Nahi He
*****************************************************
Doc-
Ye Syrup 2 Spoon Subha
2 Dopahar
2 Raat ko
3 Din Tak Lena he
RAAZ-Apna Dawai Apna Pas Rakho
Mere Ghar Me Itna Chamach Nahi He
*****************************************************
Baby mosquito came back after its first time flying!
His dad asked him, "how do u feel?"
He replied, "it was wonderful, every1 was clapping 4 me!
*****************************************************
Kanjus Jok
Kanjus Jok
• Sonu Ne Bhagwan Se Pucha- Kya Me Agle Janam Me Gadha Ban Sakta Hu
Bhagwan- Sorry.. Ek Hi Facility Baar Baar Nahi Milti
*****************************************************
• Beta- Aab Me Bahut Rupia Kamaunga
Papa- Kaise
Beta- Kal Humare Maths Teacher Mujhe Bataenge, Kish Tarah Paise Ko Rupay Me Convert Kiya Jata Hai
*****************************************************
• Sonu- Tujhe Kabhi Kisi Se Pyar Hua
Monu- Ha Yaar.. Par Wo Manti Hi Nahi
S- Kyu
M- Kehti Hai 'I LOVE U 2'.. Pata Nahi Ye Dusra Kameena Kaun Hai
*****************************************************
• an
Invisible Romance
Negro
Giving a
Black Rose
With
a KISS
2Negro GF
In a
Moonless Ni8
Wearing
Black Cloths
In a
Coal Mine
Wthout
Smil
*****************************************************
• Sonu- Mai Dunia Me Sab Se Smart Hu
Bhagwan Hans K Bole- Tumne Shayad Msg Padhne Wale Ko Nahi Dekha Hai
MORAL-
Bhagwan Ko Mazak B Krna Aata Hai
*****************************************************
• Ha
Ha Ha
Ha Ha Ha
He He He
Hooo
Ha Ha Ha
Kuch Nahi Yaar
Aachanak Tera Chehra Yaad Aa Gaya
Kabhi Kabhi Bhagwan B Aacha Mazak Kar Lete Hai
*****************************************************
Hathi Swiming Pool Me Gira
To Sab Chitiya Bahar Aa Gayi
1Chiti Hathi K Pith Pr Chad Gayi
To Dusri Boli-Duba Saale Ko Duba, Ladkiyo Ko Chedta Hai
*****************************************************
Teacher- Tum Agar Mummy Ko 'MOM' Kehte Ho
To
Aapni Mummy Ki Badi Bahen
Aur Chhoti Bahen Ko Kya Kahoge?
Boy {Soch Ke}-
'Minimum' Aur 'Maximum'
*****************************************************
• Boy Girl Se Tum Mujh Se Shadi Krogi
Girl-Nhi
Boy-Kyu
Girl-Mere Ghar Wale Nahi Manege
Boy-Ghar Me Kon Kon Hai
GIRL-1 Husband,4 Bache
*****************************************************
• What Is
Invisible Romance
Negro
Giving a
Black Rose
With
a KISS
2Negro GF
In a
Moonless Ni8
Wearing
Black Cloths
In a
Coal Mine
Without
*****************************************************
• Dukhi Sonu Bola- Aisi Zindgi Se To Maut Achi
Achanak Yamraj Aye
Bole- Teri Jaan Lene Aaya Hu
Sonu- Lo Batao.. Aab Insaan Mazak B Nahi Kar Sakta
*****************************************************
• Kaise Ho Ab?
Theek Ho?
Dard Ho Raha He.?
Pain Killer Tablets Lete Rehna
Ab Ladki Mat Chedna
Varna
Fir Aise Hi Mar Padegi
*****************************************************
• Ek Diwar Pr likha tha
"Dekho Kutta thuk rha h"
Santa ne Tukhne k bhad waha likh diya
"Tuka Maine Name Kutte ka laga"
*****************************************************
• Ek Aurat, Inspector Sonu Se- Mera Pati 5 Din Pehle Aloo Kharidne Gaye The, Abhi Tak Wapas Nahi Aaye
Sonu- Tum Koi Dusri Sabji Kyu Nahi Bana Leti
*****************************************************
• Ek admi ne sadhu se kaha, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upaay bataiye.
Sadhu bola , saale, Upaay hota to main sadhu kyoon banta?*
*****************************************************
• Remember, it's not, "How high are you?"
it's "Hi, how are you?"
*****************************************************
• We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve years telling them to sit down and shut u
*****************************************************
Muskare aap aur hum to fiza badal jae,
Baate kare hum sang sang to mausam badal jaye
Itne dilkash he hum sab ke andaz,
Ki chalenge saath saath to
*****************************************************
Ladki- Maa.. Ye Padosi Ka Ladka Mujhe Baar Baar KISS Kar K Bhag Jata Hai
Maa Muskura Ke
Boli- Bada Shararti Hai.. Bilkul Aapne Baap Par Gaya Hai
*****************************************************
• Sonu-Wo Ladki Kitni Sundar H
Monu-Mujhe Uska Nam Pta H
S-Kya Nam H
M-Wo Bank Me Kaam Karti H
Uske Counter Pe Uska Nam Likha Tha
'CHALU KHATA'
*****************************************************
• Son- Mummy.. Ish Diwali Pe Hum Sare Patakhe Yahi Se Lenge
Mom- Ye To Ladies Hostel Hai
Son- Papa Ne Kaha Tha, Sari Phool-Jhadiya Yahi Milti Hai
*****************************************************
• Sonu Ne Bhagwan Se Pucha- Kya Me Agle Janam Me Gadha Ban Sakta Hu
Bhagwan- Sorry.. Ek Hi Facility Baar Baar Nahi Milti
*****************************************************
• Beta- Aab Me Bahut Rupia Kamaunga
Papa- Kaise
Beta- Kal Humare Maths Teacher Mujhe Bataenge, Kish Tarah Paise Ko Rupay Me Convert Kiya Jata Hai
*****************************************************
• Sonu- Tujhe Kabhi Kisi Se Pyar Hua
Monu- Ha Yaar.. Par Wo Manti Hi Nahi
S- Kyu
M- Kehti Hai 'I LOVE U 2'.. Pata Nahi Ye Dusra Kameena Kaun Hai
*****************************************************
• an
Invisible Romance
Negro
Giving a
Black Rose
With
a KISS
2Negro GF
In a
Moonless Ni8
Wearing
Black Cloths
In a
Coal Mine
Wthout
Smil
*****************************************************
• Sonu- Mai Dunia Me Sab Se Smart Hu
Bhagwan Hans K Bole- Tumne Shayad Msg Padhne Wale Ko Nahi Dekha Hai
MORAL-
Bhagwan Ko Mazak B Krna Aata Hai
*****************************************************
• Ha
Ha Ha
Ha Ha Ha
He He He
Hooo
Ha Ha Ha
Kuch Nahi Yaar
Aachanak Tera Chehra Yaad Aa Gaya
Kabhi Kabhi Bhagwan B Aacha Mazak Kar Lete Hai
*****************************************************
Hathi Swiming Pool Me Gira
To Sab Chitiya Bahar Aa Gayi
1Chiti Hathi K Pith Pr Chad Gayi
To Dusri Boli-Duba Saale Ko Duba, Ladkiyo Ko Chedta Hai
*****************************************************
Teacher- Tum Agar Mummy Ko 'MOM' Kehte Ho
To
Aapni Mummy Ki Badi Bahen
Aur Chhoti Bahen Ko Kya Kahoge?
Boy {Soch Ke}-
'Minimum' Aur 'Maximum'
*****************************************************
• Boy Girl Se Tum Mujh Se Shadi Krogi
Girl-Nhi
Boy-Kyu
Girl-Mere Ghar Wale Nahi Manege
Boy-Ghar Me Kon Kon Hai
GIRL-1 Husband,4 Bache
*****************************************************
• What Is
Invisible Romance
Negro
Giving a
Black Rose
With
a KISS
2Negro GF
In a
Moonless Ni8
Wearing
Black Cloths
In a
Coal Mine
Without
*****************************************************
• Dukhi Sonu Bola- Aisi Zindgi Se To Maut Achi
Achanak Yamraj Aye
Bole- Teri Jaan Lene Aaya Hu
Sonu- Lo Batao.. Aab Insaan Mazak B Nahi Kar Sakta
*****************************************************
• Kaise Ho Ab?
Theek Ho?
Dard Ho Raha He.?
Pain Killer Tablets Lete Rehna
Ab Ladki Mat Chedna
Varna
Fir Aise Hi Mar Padegi
*****************************************************
• Ek Diwar Pr likha tha
"Dekho Kutta thuk rha h"
Santa ne Tukhne k bhad waha likh diya
"Tuka Maine Name Kutte ka laga"
*****************************************************
• Ek Aurat, Inspector Sonu Se- Mera Pati 5 Din Pehle Aloo Kharidne Gaye The, Abhi Tak Wapas Nahi Aaye
Sonu- Tum Koi Dusri Sabji Kyu Nahi Bana Leti
*****************************************************
• Ek admi ne sadhu se kaha, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upaay bataiye.
Sadhu bola , saale, Upaay hota to main sadhu kyoon banta?*
*****************************************************
• Remember, it's not, "How high are you?"
it's "Hi, how are you?"
*****************************************************
• We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve years telling them to sit down and shut u
*****************************************************
Muskare aap aur hum to fiza badal jae,
Baate kare hum sang sang to mausam badal jaye
Itne dilkash he hum sab ke andaz,
Ki chalenge saath saath to
*****************************************************
Ladki- Maa.. Ye Padosi Ka Ladka Mujhe Baar Baar KISS Kar K Bhag Jata Hai
Maa Muskura Ke
Boli- Bada Shararti Hai.. Bilkul Aapne Baap Par Gaya Hai
*****************************************************
• Sonu-Wo Ladki Kitni Sundar H
Monu-Mujhe Uska Nam Pta H
S-Kya Nam H
M-Wo Bank Me Kaam Karti H
Uske Counter Pe Uska Nam Likha Tha
'CHALU KHATA'
*****************************************************
• Son- Mummy.. Ish Diwali Pe Hum Sare Patakhe Yahi Se Lenge
Mom- Ye To Ladies Hostel Hai
Son- Papa Ne Kaha Tha, Sari Phool-Jhadiya Yahi Milti Hai
*****************************************************
Super Jok
Super Jok
• Yamraj=Ur Time is Over
Katrina=Kya koi Rasta He Bachne ka?
Yam=Ha!
SMS Padhne wale ko KISS Karo
Katrina=Oh Shit!
Fir to Mujhe Utha Hi Lo.
*****************************************************
• In 1975 IDBI bank rejected loan of ambani.
And now ambani plan to buy IDBI.
Today icici bank rejected my loan proposal.
*****************************************************
• I Luv U
I Luv U Very
Much
Bcoz
GITA Me Likha He..
"PAAP SE NAFRAT KARO,
PAPIYO SE NAHI"
*****************************************************
• Beti:Maa gaon main filmwale aaye he
Maa:Andar aaja inki niyat bahut kharab hoti he
Beti:karan johar bhi hai
Maa:to tere bhai ko bhi andar le aa!
*****************************************************
• Sache Dost k 3 Nishani
1.Kameene kabhi phone nahi karege
2.Zaleel hans hans k SMS Padhege
3.Jitni bezzati ho jaye
besharm,msg pura padh k rahege
*****************************************************
• Arz kiya hai
Ikhtiyar-e-Tarannum se
Tabassum ki roshni ko jala dena!
(wah wah wah)
Jab iska matlab samajh me ajaye to muze bhi bata dena
*****************************************************
• How To Impress Ur Kaamwali Bai.?
?
?
?
Kaise.?
?
?
?
Tum Isme Bhi Interested Ho..
..Kuch To Aapne Standard Ka Khayal Rakho
*****************************************************
• My House Gift 4 U
:: _ ----
/____'_/ \
l__[]__l__!
Bech k recharge kar lo
Hum road pe reh lenge
Magar tumhare SMS ke bagair nahi...!
*****************************************************
• Kaise nazare hote agar sitare na hote
Lahre bhi bhatkti agar kinare na hote
Kaha jake katati ye zindgi
agar aap jaise dost HUMARE na Hote.
*****************************************************
• Santa -Yar Road Cutting Ki nayi Tecnolgy Ayi He
Banta-wo Kya
Santa-BILLI
Banta-Kaise
Santa-Simple
Sub Bolte h
Wo Dekho Billi ne Rasta kat diya
*****************************************************
• Today is Sorry Day
Aaj k Din Sabko Apni galati Accept Kar leni Chaiye
agar Meri Koi baat Buri Lagi ho to
Lagti rahe
Hum ye Din nahi manate hai.
*****************************************************
• DISTANCE THEOREM
Mumbai 2 Banglore-1300km
Banglore 2 Mumbai-1300km
Saturday 2 Monday-1Day
but
Monday 2 Saturday -6days
Why?
Think abt
*****************************************************
• gar Aap k ghar K paas 1 ladki Ho
Vo khubSurat ho
apko Pasand karti ho
Aapko Ishare karke Bulati ho
To mat jana okay
Qki
Uske Liye maine hu na.
*****************************************************
• When I Call U
1Ring Means
I m Thinkin Of U
2Ring Means
I Like U
3Ring Means
I m Missing U
4Ring Means
I Need U
5Ring Means
BEHRE PHONE UTTH
*****************************************************
• 2 Bacho Ki Maa Tisri Baar Shadi Kar Rahi Thi
Shadi K Waqt Chota Bacha Rone Laga
Maa Boli- Chup Ho Ja Nalayak, Warna Agli Baar Saath Nahi Laungi
*****************************************************
• Wo maza
Takht me
Na Taaj me
Na Duniya k Raaj me
Na sur me
Na saaz me
Na Kuber k khazane me
Jo Maza H Uthkar Fir se-so-jane me
*****************************************************
• Santa:Mere padosi ka bacha gum ho gya,
Banta:Fir tumne kya kaha?
Santa:Maine kaha Google pe search krlo,
mil jaye to download kr lena.
*****************************************************
• Kheriyat To hai is TIME mis call di?
Ye message Sab ko Send Karo
or Dekho Kitne bewaqofo
ka reply Aaty he k Maine Nahi di
*****************************************************
• Mujse Shadi Karogi?
KaL Pura Din Soch Kar
Mummy
Papa
Bhai
Bahan K Sath baithKar Mashwra Krke Muje Bata Dena
Ki Ye Gana Kis Movie Ka Ha
*****************************************************
• SANTA- Mai bachpan me bohat taqat war tha..
BANTA-wo kaise?
SANTA-Maa kehti hy k jab mai rota tha
to sara ghar sar pe utha leta tha
*****************************************************
• Teacher : Who is Ur Favorite Writer?
MONU: Ur Daughter.
Every Week She Give Me a Nice Love Letter
*****************************************************
• Tu Baar Baar Apni Wafao Ki Kahani Na Sunaya Kar
MERE D0ST
Ek t0 pehle hi itni tension he
Oper se tere Drame khatam nhi hote
*****************************************************
• Kasam se ek ek ko chun chun k marunga
Kisiko nei chorunga
Dar Gya kya
dar mat
Jaan se nahi
sirf miss call marunga
*****************************************************
• Kasam se ek ek ko chun chun k marunga
Kisiko nei chorunga
Dar Gya kya
dar mat
Jaan se nahi
sirf miss call marunga
*****************************************************
• Americans Invented,
'MOBILE'..
Japanese Invented,
'SIM Card'..
Be Proud..
Coz..
Our Great Indian Girls Invented,
?
'Miss Call'
*****************************************************
• American- Hamare Paas
MADONA,JULIA,BRITNEY Jaise ITEM BOMB Hai..
Tumhare Paas Kya Hai
Indian- Hamare Paas
EMRAAN HASHMI Jaise BOMB Difuser HE
*****************************************************
• Ha Ha Ha
Ha Ha Ha
Of OO..
Ha Ha Ha
Oh No
Ha Ha
Ha Ha Ha
Ha Ha
Ha Ha Ha
Kuch nhi Bas Tumhari Shakal Yaad Aa Gyi thi yaar
*****************************************************
• 1Murga 1Murgi k pichhe bhag rha tha
Achanak
Murgi Car k niche aa gayi or mar gyi
Murga-Lagta he DESI he,
Jaan de di magar IZZAT bacha Li
*****************************************************
• Samandar Me Gehraai Ki Tarah
Pyar Me Judai Ki Tarah
Khuda Kare Aapki Girlfriend Aapko Rakhe
Bilkul Apne Chhote Bhai Ki Tarah
*****************************************************
• Pati- Phone Mere Liye Ho To Kehna, Mai Ghar Pe Nahi Hu
Patni- Wo Ghar Pe Hai
Pati- Maine Mana Kiya Tha Na
Patni- Jaanu.. Phone Mere Liye Tha
*****************************************************
• Sardar: Sir ji, Aap apni Patni ko party mein kyun nahi laate?
Boss :"Woh gaon ki he"
Sardar : "O Sorry,
mujhe laga woh sirf aap ki hai
*****************************************************
Wife: Jab tum DESI pite ho mujhe PARO khte ho,
Whisky pite ho to DARLING khte ho.
par Aaj "Bhootni" kyo kaha?
Husband: Aaj main hosh main hu
*****************************************************
• Aapke
Bathroom Me Ek Hafte se
Camera Laga He
Aur
Ye Dekho Apne Nahate Waqt ka Photo-
Oye!
Ye Kya?
Hafte Bhar Se
Nahaye Hi Nahi?
*****************************************************
• Wife-If I die what will u do?
Husband-Main paagal ho jaunga
Wife-Will u marry again after I die?
Husband-Pagal kuch bhi kar sakta He
*****************************************************
• Usne Mehndi Laga Rkhi Thi,
Humne Doli Saja Rkhi Thi,
Mujhe Pata Tha Wo Bewafa Niklegi,
Isliye Humne Uski Chhoti Bhen B pata Rkhi Thi
*****************************************************
• A Chiti Saw A Box Of GuD.
The Same Time She Saw A Handsome Makoda.
Chiti Left Gud & Followed Makoda
Bcoz
Gud Se Mitha Ishq Ishq
*****************************************************
• Mulakat k liye safed phool
Dosti k liye pila phool
Pyaar k liye lal phool
aur
aur
aur
aur
.
.
.
.
Sasuraal Geda phool
*****************************************************
• Ek Bahut Bade Sharabi Ki Car Ke Piche Likha Tha
.
.
.
.
DAARU PIYO.. INSAAN BANO
ROTI TO..
KUTTE Bhi Khaate Hai..
*****************************************************
• Yamraj=Ur Time is Over
Katrina=Kya koi Rasta He Bachne ka?
Yam=Ha!
SMS Padhne wale ko KISS Karo
Katrina=Oh Shit!
Fir to Mujhe Utha Hi Lo.
*****************************************************
• In 1975 IDBI bank rejected loan of ambani.
And now ambani plan to buy IDBI.
Today icici bank rejected my loan proposal.
*****************************************************
• I Luv U
I Luv U Very
Much
Bcoz
GITA Me Likha He..
"PAAP SE NAFRAT KARO,
PAPIYO SE NAHI"
*****************************************************
• Beti:Maa gaon main filmwale aaye he
Maa:Andar aaja inki niyat bahut kharab hoti he
Beti:karan johar bhi hai
Maa:to tere bhai ko bhi andar le aa!
*****************************************************
• Sache Dost k 3 Nishani
1.Kameene kabhi phone nahi karege
2.Zaleel hans hans k SMS Padhege
3.Jitni bezzati ho jaye
besharm,msg pura padh k rahege
*****************************************************
• Arz kiya hai
Ikhtiyar-e-Tarannum se
Tabassum ki roshni ko jala dena!
(wah wah wah)
Jab iska matlab samajh me ajaye to muze bhi bata dena
*****************************************************
• How To Impress Ur Kaamwali Bai.?
?
?
?
Kaise.?
?
?
?
Tum Isme Bhi Interested Ho..
..Kuch To Aapne Standard Ka Khayal Rakho
*****************************************************
• My House Gift 4 U
:: _ ----
/____'_/ \
l__[]__l__!
Bech k recharge kar lo
Hum road pe reh lenge
Magar tumhare SMS ke bagair nahi...!
*****************************************************
• Kaise nazare hote agar sitare na hote
Lahre bhi bhatkti agar kinare na hote
Kaha jake katati ye zindgi
agar aap jaise dost HUMARE na Hote.
*****************************************************
• Santa -Yar Road Cutting Ki nayi Tecnolgy Ayi He
Banta-wo Kya
Santa-BILLI
Banta-Kaise
Santa-Simple
Sub Bolte h
Wo Dekho Billi ne Rasta kat diya
*****************************************************
• Today is Sorry Day
Aaj k Din Sabko Apni galati Accept Kar leni Chaiye
agar Meri Koi baat Buri Lagi ho to
Lagti rahe
Hum ye Din nahi manate hai.
*****************************************************
• DISTANCE THEOREM
Mumbai 2 Banglore-1300km
Banglore 2 Mumbai-1300km
Saturday 2 Monday-1Day
but
Monday 2 Saturday -6days
Why?
Think abt
*****************************************************
• gar Aap k ghar K paas 1 ladki Ho
Vo khubSurat ho
apko Pasand karti ho
Aapko Ishare karke Bulati ho
To mat jana okay
Qki
Uske Liye maine hu na.
*****************************************************
• When I Call U
1Ring Means
I m Thinkin Of U
2Ring Means
I Like U
3Ring Means
I m Missing U
4Ring Means
I Need U
5Ring Means
BEHRE PHONE UTTH
*****************************************************
• 2 Bacho Ki Maa Tisri Baar Shadi Kar Rahi Thi
Shadi K Waqt Chota Bacha Rone Laga
Maa Boli- Chup Ho Ja Nalayak, Warna Agli Baar Saath Nahi Laungi
*****************************************************
• Wo maza
Takht me
Na Taaj me
Na Duniya k Raaj me
Na sur me
Na saaz me
Na Kuber k khazane me
Jo Maza H Uthkar Fir se-so-jane me
*****************************************************
• Santa:Mere padosi ka bacha gum ho gya,
Banta:Fir tumne kya kaha?
Santa:Maine kaha Google pe search krlo,
mil jaye to download kr lena.
*****************************************************
• Kheriyat To hai is TIME mis call di?
Ye message Sab ko Send Karo
or Dekho Kitne bewaqofo
ka reply Aaty he k Maine Nahi di
*****************************************************
• Mujse Shadi Karogi?
KaL Pura Din Soch Kar
Mummy
Papa
Bhai
Bahan K Sath baithKar Mashwra Krke Muje Bata Dena
Ki Ye Gana Kis Movie Ka Ha
*****************************************************
• SANTA- Mai bachpan me bohat taqat war tha..
BANTA-wo kaise?
SANTA-Maa kehti hy k jab mai rota tha
to sara ghar sar pe utha leta tha
*****************************************************
• Teacher : Who is Ur Favorite Writer?
MONU: Ur Daughter.
Every Week She Give Me a Nice Love Letter
*****************************************************
• Tu Baar Baar Apni Wafao Ki Kahani Na Sunaya Kar
MERE D0ST
Ek t0 pehle hi itni tension he
Oper se tere Drame khatam nhi hote
*****************************************************
• Kasam se ek ek ko chun chun k marunga
Kisiko nei chorunga
Dar Gya kya
dar mat
Jaan se nahi
sirf miss call marunga
*****************************************************
• Kasam se ek ek ko chun chun k marunga
Kisiko nei chorunga
Dar Gya kya
dar mat
Jaan se nahi
sirf miss call marunga
*****************************************************
• Americans Invented,
'MOBILE'..
Japanese Invented,
'SIM Card'..
Be Proud..
Coz..
Our Great Indian Girls Invented,
?
'Miss Call'
*****************************************************
• American- Hamare Paas
MADONA,JULIA,BRITNEY Jaise ITEM BOMB Hai..
Tumhare Paas Kya Hai
Indian- Hamare Paas
EMRAAN HASHMI Jaise BOMB Difuser HE
*****************************************************
• Ha Ha Ha
Ha Ha Ha
Of OO..
Ha Ha Ha
Oh No
Ha Ha
Ha Ha Ha
Ha Ha
Ha Ha Ha
Kuch nhi Bas Tumhari Shakal Yaad Aa Gyi thi yaar
*****************************************************
• 1Murga 1Murgi k pichhe bhag rha tha
Achanak
Murgi Car k niche aa gayi or mar gyi
Murga-Lagta he DESI he,
Jaan de di magar IZZAT bacha Li
*****************************************************
• Samandar Me Gehraai Ki Tarah
Pyar Me Judai Ki Tarah
Khuda Kare Aapki Girlfriend Aapko Rakhe
Bilkul Apne Chhote Bhai Ki Tarah
*****************************************************
• Pati- Phone Mere Liye Ho To Kehna, Mai Ghar Pe Nahi Hu
Patni- Wo Ghar Pe Hai
Pati- Maine Mana Kiya Tha Na
Patni- Jaanu.. Phone Mere Liye Tha
*****************************************************
• Sardar: Sir ji, Aap apni Patni ko party mein kyun nahi laate?
Boss :"Woh gaon ki he"
Sardar : "O Sorry,
mujhe laga woh sirf aap ki hai
*****************************************************
Wife: Jab tum DESI pite ho mujhe PARO khte ho,
Whisky pite ho to DARLING khte ho.
par Aaj "Bhootni" kyo kaha?
Husband: Aaj main hosh main hu
*****************************************************
• Aapke
Bathroom Me Ek Hafte se
Camera Laga He
Aur
Ye Dekho Apne Nahate Waqt ka Photo-
Oye!
Ye Kya?
Hafte Bhar Se
Nahaye Hi Nahi?
*****************************************************
• Wife-If I die what will u do?
Husband-Main paagal ho jaunga
Wife-Will u marry again after I die?
Husband-Pagal kuch bhi kar sakta He
*****************************************************
• Usne Mehndi Laga Rkhi Thi,
Humne Doli Saja Rkhi Thi,
Mujhe Pata Tha Wo Bewafa Niklegi,
Isliye Humne Uski Chhoti Bhen B pata Rkhi Thi
*****************************************************
• A Chiti Saw A Box Of GuD.
The Same Time She Saw A Handsome Makoda.
Chiti Left Gud & Followed Makoda
Bcoz
Gud Se Mitha Ishq Ishq
*****************************************************
• Mulakat k liye safed phool
Dosti k liye pila phool
Pyaar k liye lal phool
aur
aur
aur
aur
.
.
.
.
Sasuraal Geda phool
*****************************************************
• Ek Bahut Bade Sharabi Ki Car Ke Piche Likha Tha
.
.
.
.
DAARU PIYO.. INSAAN BANO
ROTI TO..
KUTTE Bhi Khaate Hai..
*****************************************************
Smile Jok
Smile Jok
• Aaj Aapka Msg Aayega Tabhi Hum Roti Khayenge
.
.
.
.
.
Warna
Panir Paratha Aur Kashmiri Pulaaw K Baad Ice-Cream Kha K Bhuke Hi So Jayenge..
*****************************************************
• Girl sitting on a park bench
Beggar:Hi Darling
She angrily:How dare you call me darling?
Beggr:Then What r u doing on my BED?
*****************************************************
Sweet Fruits R Nice 2 Eat
Sweet Words R Nice 2 Say
But
Sweet & Cute People R Really Hard 2 Find
KAISE DHUNDH LIYA MUJHE.........?
ganesh b
*****************************************************
Do Cockroach Hospital Mai Agal Bagal Admit Hote Hai..
1st Cockroach- Kyu Dost.. BAYGON Spray Kya.?
2nd Cockroach- Nahi Yaar.. BATA CHAPPAL
*****************************************************
• 1 Nayi khoj
Chor Pakadne Ki Machine Bani
USA Me -1din Me 9pkde Gye
CHINA Me-30
UK Me-50
INDIA Me-
1gante M Mchine Chori Ho Gayi.
INDIA Is Best
*****************************************************
• Padh likh kar kya karna hai,
23 Dec 2012 ke din sabko marna hai,
3 saal khushi se ji le dost,
kyunki agle janam me phir L.K.G se shuru karna hai.
*****************************************************
• 2000 Me Bache Padhte The
A 4 Apple
B 4 Banana
C 4 Cat
D 4 Dog
2009 Me Padte Hai-
A 4 Aata
B 4 Bijli
C 4 Cheeni
D 4 Dhamake
E 4 Errrrr
*****************************************************
• A University's Advt
R U a Student Scoring High Marks
Bored Of Gettin Gud Marks
Join Engg
See D Diffrnce In Just 4Yrs
'Marks Se NomarkS tak
*****************************************************
• 1chota baby apne madam se puchta he, me apko kesa lagta hu?
Mam-so cute
bacha apne bench partnr se-''bola tha na sali line marti hai"
*****************************************************
• Santa- i m going' ka kya matlab hota hai
Banta(soch ke)- 'me ja raha hu'
Santa(gusse me)- oye nahi jane dunga pehle matlab bata
*****************************************************
• Santa Chupke Se Narak se Swarg me Ghusa
dewtao Ne Pakad K Khub Mara
Mar Khane k Bad Utha aur Bola,
Tumhari Inhi Harkato k karan Koi swarg nhi aata
*****************************************************
• 24 SmileS..
:-)
:-) :-)
:-) :-):-)
:-) :-):-):-)
:-) :-) :-) :-)
:-) :-):-):-)
:-) :-):-)
:-) :-)
:-)
For You,
One For Each Hour.!
*****************************************************
• Hamesha Apni pasand k raste p chalo
Apne tariqe se Muhabat kro
wo kro jo ap Chahe
Fir dekhna
1 din Dunia Kahegi
Kamina Kisi Ki Nai Sunta..
*****************************************************
Santa Apni Maa se Pitne Ke Bad Ghar Ke Bahar Baitha Tha
Baap-Kya Huwa
Santa-Papa,Tumhari Biwi Ke Sath Ab Mera Guzara Nahi Ho Sakta
Santa was Smoking a cigreate Widout Buring
Banta: Oye Bidi se Dhua nahi aa rha
Santa: teri inhi harkato se Humare uppar joke bante h
Ye CNG bidi h
*****************************************************
• Besharam
.
.
Behaya
.
.
Begherat
Bewaqoof
Kutte
Kamine
Jahil
UlLo k pathey
Hain woh log?
Jo aapki qadr nahi karte
*****************************************************
• Boy-mai Shadi nahi krunga
Dad-Q?
Boy-Q ki Gaon wale meri Mangetar ko taxi kehte hai
Dad-Are Beta karle
Chota sa to Gaon Hai
kitni chali ho
*****************************************************
• Apne DIL Curaya..
Hum Khamosh Rhe
Apne NIND Churayi.. Hm Khamosh Rhe
Apne HASI Churayi.. Hm Khmosh Rhe
Par Kambakht
CHAPPAL to Rehne Do
*****************************************************
Yaad Hai Hum Pehli Baar Kaha Mile The..
?
Train Ruki..
Khidki Khuli..
Nazron Se Nazre Mili..
Aur
Aap Ne Kaha..
.
'Chai Garam'
*****************************************************
Santa: Boss Maine Galti Nahi Kiya Fir B aap Mujhe Saza Q De Rahe ho?
Banta: Idiot,Zamana PrePaid ka hai
Pahle Saza Bhugato Baad me Galti Karo
*****************************************************
Mohabbat Ki raho Me Har Pal Dard Milega
Mohabbat Ki raho Me Har Pal Dard Milega
Meri Mano 1
"Medical Store Khol Lo"
Bahut Chalega
*****************************************************
• Kal ki breaking news-
Are....
Kal ke news paper me padhna.
Aaj kaise bata sakta hu.
:GSB
*****************************************************
• Dabbe Me Dabba,Dabbey me Cake
wah wah
Gor FarMarye
Dabbe Me Dabba,Dabbey me Cake
KanJus na Ban Sms Bhej!
*****************************************************
SENT
THIS
MSG
ONLY
FOR
onLY
For
OnLy fOr
O
N
L
Y
F
O
R
1ly4
oneli4
oNly
foR
O
n
l
y
F
o
r
TIMEPAAS YAAR
*****************************************************
• PATIENT: Apne Nurse bahut Achhi rkhi h,
Uska Hath lagte hi Mai Thik ho gya
DOCTOR: Janta hu, Thappad ki Awaaz Mujhe b Sunai di
oou
*****************************************************
• Wo Kaun sa Department he jis me Ladies Work Nahi kar Sakti?
"FIRE BRIGADE"
Kyuki Waha AAG Lagani Nahi BHUJHANI hoti hai.
*****************************************************
• W1y w2y w3y
w4y w5y w6y
Kuch Samaja?
Nai
Cel Ulta Krke Dekh
Abe ye !!
Jb Sidha Nai Samjha
to Ulta Kya Khak Samajega!!
*****************************************************
• Khuda Ka Diya Sb Kuch h
Balance h,Phone h,Network h
Itna Rutba h Ki kisi ko b Miss call kru to Msg ki line lag sakti h
Kami hai to bas apke Msg ki
*****************************************************
• Bhikari- Saab. Parivar Se Dur Hu, Milne K Liye 140Rs Ki Jarurat Hai
Seth- Kaha Hai Tera Parivar.
Bhikari- Samne. Multiplex Me Film Dekh Rha Hai
*****************************************************
• Boy:Aisa Greeting Card milega jisme Likha ho
"Tum hi mera pehala Pyar ho"
Dukandar: yes,mil Jayega
Ladka-Thik hai 10 de do
*****************************************************
• Mujhe Garmi ME Chakkar Aur Ulti Kya Aai
Mere
Kaminy Dosto Ne Mujhe Mashhoor Kar Diya
Ki
"SOHAIL" Ma Ban'nay Wala Hai
*****************************************************
• Saas-Bhgwan Ne Tumhe 2-2 Ankhe Di H, Chawal Me Se 2-4 Pthar Nhi Nikal Skti Kya
Bahu-Bhgwan Ne Apko 32 Daant Diye H, 2-4 Pthar Nhi Chaba Skti Kya
*****************************************************
• Begano se koi gunjaish nahi hoti
Maut k bad koi khwaish nahi hoti
Shayad koi pyar bhara dil tuta hoga
Warna
NOVEMBER mahine me barish nahi hoti.
*****************************************************
• Santa bike se ja raha tha, ladki ko dekh kar achanak gir gya..
Ladki- Oh my God! lagi to nhi?
Santa- O nai Sohniyo, hum to aise hi bike se utarte h
*****************************************************
• Duniya k 5 muskil kam
-Hathi ko dhakka lagana
-Machar ki malish Karna
-Chiti ko kiss Karna
-Ziraf ki gardan Dabana
-Apse sms ki umid Karna.
*****************************************************
• Ladka-Bus,Train Aur Ladki Ek Jaisi Hoti H, Ek Jati H To Dusri Aati H
Ladki-Taxi,AutoRiksha Aur Ladke Ek Jaise Hote H, Ek Bulao To 4 Chale Aate H
*****************************************************
Sir: It Seems u havent Studied ur geography y ?
Santa: My Dad says d World is changing EveryDay,
So I decided 2 wait Until it Settles Down..!!
*****************************************************
Santa K Ghar chor Aaya
Santa Ne Dekha To Chor Bhaga
Santa-Bhagte-Bhagte Chor Se Aage Nikal Gaya
Or Bola: 1To Chori Uper Se Humse race...
*****************************************************
Tandi-Tandi Hawa Chali
Mausam Hua Suhana
Tandi-Thandi Hawa Chali
Mausam Hua Suhana
BANDAR Bhi Msg Padh Raha Hai.. Kya EDUCATED Ho Gaya Zamana
*****************************************************
• 1 ladka apne bap se kahta hai.
BOY: "Bapu idhar aa"
MOM: "Aise nai bolte Beta,Dad ko Izzat se bolo"
Boy: "Bapu,Izzat se idhar aa"
*****************************************************
• PATIENT: Apne Nurse bahut Achhi rkhi h,
Uska Hath lagte hi Mai Thik ho gya
DOCTOR: Janta hu, Thappad ki Awaaz Mujhe b Sunai di
*****************************************************
• If I Need Brain Transplantn,
I wil Prefer Ur Brain..
.
Dont Think dt U r A GENIUS.
I Need a Brain Wich has been Nvr Usd b4.
*****************************************************
Ladki ka Dil pani ki trah hota hai
Ladke ka Dil Mobile ki tarah.
Chahay mobile Pani me Gire ya Pani mobile pe
Waat Mobile ki hi lagti hai
*****************************************************
Nafrat Na Karna Kabhi Humse
Hum Seh Nai Payege
Ek Baar Keh Dena Zarurat Nai Hai
Kasam Se Tujhe Pitne Ghar Tak Aayenge
*****************************************************
Baap Apni Beti Ke Premi Se- Mai Nahi Chahta K Meri Beti GADHE Ke Sath Puri Zindgi Bitaye
Premi- Ish Liye To Mai Usey Yaha Se Le Jana Chahta Hu
*****************************************************
• Ek Tapori ki wife: Sunte ho ji, Apne chinku ne aaj pehla aadha shabd bola.
Tapori: Achcha, Kya bola ?
Wife: Behan...
-
*****************************************************
• SarDiyo Ki Shaam Thi
Usne Mere Hath pakad Kar Kaha
Garam Hath Wafa Ki Nishani Hota hai
Maine Has Kar Kaha
Bevkoof Mujhe Bukhaar Hai.
*****************************************************
• 222 222 222 222 222
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Kuch Samaj Mai Aaya
Upar Kya Likha Hai
?
Yeh Hai
'DOCOMO' Tune
222 222 222 222 222
Ha Ha Ha
*****************************************************
• Aaj Aapka Msg Aayega Tabhi Hum Roti Khayenge
.
.
.
.
.
Warna
Panir Paratha Aur Kashmiri Pulaaw K Baad Ice-Cream Kha K Bhuke Hi So Jayenge..
*****************************************************
• Girl sitting on a park bench
Beggar:Hi Darling
She angrily:How dare you call me darling?
Beggr:Then What r u doing on my BED?
*****************************************************
Sweet Fruits R Nice 2 Eat
Sweet Words R Nice 2 Say
But
Sweet & Cute People R Really Hard 2 Find
KAISE DHUNDH LIYA MUJHE.........?
ganesh b
*****************************************************
Do Cockroach Hospital Mai Agal Bagal Admit Hote Hai..
1st Cockroach- Kyu Dost.. BAYGON Spray Kya.?
2nd Cockroach- Nahi Yaar.. BATA CHAPPAL
*****************************************************
• 1 Nayi khoj
Chor Pakadne Ki Machine Bani
USA Me -1din Me 9pkde Gye
CHINA Me-30
UK Me-50
INDIA Me-
1gante M Mchine Chori Ho Gayi.
INDIA Is Best
*****************************************************
• Padh likh kar kya karna hai,
23 Dec 2012 ke din sabko marna hai,
3 saal khushi se ji le dost,
kyunki agle janam me phir L.K.G se shuru karna hai.
*****************************************************
• 2000 Me Bache Padhte The
A 4 Apple
B 4 Banana
C 4 Cat
D 4 Dog
2009 Me Padte Hai-
A 4 Aata
B 4 Bijli
C 4 Cheeni
D 4 Dhamake
E 4 Errrrr
*****************************************************
• A University's Advt
R U a Student Scoring High Marks
Bored Of Gettin Gud Marks
Join Engg
See D Diffrnce In Just 4Yrs
'Marks Se NomarkS tak
*****************************************************
• 1chota baby apne madam se puchta he, me apko kesa lagta hu?
Mam-so cute
bacha apne bench partnr se-''bola tha na sali line marti hai"
*****************************************************
• Santa- i m going' ka kya matlab hota hai
Banta(soch ke)- 'me ja raha hu'
Santa(gusse me)- oye nahi jane dunga pehle matlab bata
*****************************************************
• Santa Chupke Se Narak se Swarg me Ghusa
dewtao Ne Pakad K Khub Mara
Mar Khane k Bad Utha aur Bola,
Tumhari Inhi Harkato k karan Koi swarg nhi aata
*****************************************************
• 24 SmileS..
:-)
:-) :-)
:-) :-):-)
:-) :-):-):-)
:-) :-) :-) :-)
:-) :-):-):-)
:-) :-):-)
:-) :-)
:-)
For You,
One For Each Hour.!
*****************************************************
• Hamesha Apni pasand k raste p chalo
Apne tariqe se Muhabat kro
wo kro jo ap Chahe
Fir dekhna
1 din Dunia Kahegi
Kamina Kisi Ki Nai Sunta..
*****************************************************
Santa Apni Maa se Pitne Ke Bad Ghar Ke Bahar Baitha Tha
Baap-Kya Huwa
Santa-Papa,Tumhari Biwi Ke Sath Ab Mera Guzara Nahi Ho Sakta
Santa was Smoking a cigreate Widout Buring
Banta: Oye Bidi se Dhua nahi aa rha
Santa: teri inhi harkato se Humare uppar joke bante h
Ye CNG bidi h
*****************************************************
• Besharam
.
.
Behaya
.
.
Begherat
Bewaqoof
Kutte
Kamine
Jahil
UlLo k pathey
Hain woh log?
Jo aapki qadr nahi karte
*****************************************************
• Boy-mai Shadi nahi krunga
Dad-Q?
Boy-Q ki Gaon wale meri Mangetar ko taxi kehte hai
Dad-Are Beta karle
Chota sa to Gaon Hai
kitni chali ho
*****************************************************
• Apne DIL Curaya..
Hum Khamosh Rhe
Apne NIND Churayi.. Hm Khamosh Rhe
Apne HASI Churayi.. Hm Khmosh Rhe
Par Kambakht
CHAPPAL to Rehne Do
*****************************************************
Yaad Hai Hum Pehli Baar Kaha Mile The..
?
Train Ruki..
Khidki Khuli..
Nazron Se Nazre Mili..
Aur
Aap Ne Kaha..
.
'Chai Garam'
*****************************************************
Santa: Boss Maine Galti Nahi Kiya Fir B aap Mujhe Saza Q De Rahe ho?
Banta: Idiot,Zamana PrePaid ka hai
Pahle Saza Bhugato Baad me Galti Karo
*****************************************************
Mohabbat Ki raho Me Har Pal Dard Milega
Mohabbat Ki raho Me Har Pal Dard Milega
Meri Mano 1
"Medical Store Khol Lo"
Bahut Chalega
*****************************************************
• Kal ki breaking news-
Are....
Kal ke news paper me padhna.
Aaj kaise bata sakta hu.
:GSB
*****************************************************
• Dabbe Me Dabba,Dabbey me Cake
wah wah
Gor FarMarye
Dabbe Me Dabba,Dabbey me Cake
KanJus na Ban Sms Bhej!
*****************************************************
SENT
THIS
MSG
ONLY
FOR
onLY
For
OnLy fOr
O
N
L
Y
F
O
R
1ly4
oneli4
oNly
foR
O
n
l
y
F
o
r
TIMEPAAS YAAR
*****************************************************
• PATIENT: Apne Nurse bahut Achhi rkhi h,
Uska Hath lagte hi Mai Thik ho gya
DOCTOR: Janta hu, Thappad ki Awaaz Mujhe b Sunai di
oou
*****************************************************
• Wo Kaun sa Department he jis me Ladies Work Nahi kar Sakti?
"FIRE BRIGADE"
Kyuki Waha AAG Lagani Nahi BHUJHANI hoti hai.
*****************************************************
• W1y w2y w3y
w4y w5y w6y
Kuch Samaja?
Nai
Cel Ulta Krke Dekh
Abe ye !!
Jb Sidha Nai Samjha
to Ulta Kya Khak Samajega!!
*****************************************************
• Khuda Ka Diya Sb Kuch h
Balance h,Phone h,Network h
Itna Rutba h Ki kisi ko b Miss call kru to Msg ki line lag sakti h
Kami hai to bas apke Msg ki
*****************************************************
• Bhikari- Saab. Parivar Se Dur Hu, Milne K Liye 140Rs Ki Jarurat Hai
Seth- Kaha Hai Tera Parivar.
Bhikari- Samne. Multiplex Me Film Dekh Rha Hai
*****************************************************
• Boy:Aisa Greeting Card milega jisme Likha ho
"Tum hi mera pehala Pyar ho"
Dukandar: yes,mil Jayega
Ladka-Thik hai 10 de do
*****************************************************
• Mujhe Garmi ME Chakkar Aur Ulti Kya Aai
Mere
Kaminy Dosto Ne Mujhe Mashhoor Kar Diya
Ki
"SOHAIL" Ma Ban'nay Wala Hai
*****************************************************
• Saas-Bhgwan Ne Tumhe 2-2 Ankhe Di H, Chawal Me Se 2-4 Pthar Nhi Nikal Skti Kya
Bahu-Bhgwan Ne Apko 32 Daant Diye H, 2-4 Pthar Nhi Chaba Skti Kya
*****************************************************
• Begano se koi gunjaish nahi hoti
Maut k bad koi khwaish nahi hoti
Shayad koi pyar bhara dil tuta hoga
Warna
NOVEMBER mahine me barish nahi hoti.
*****************************************************
• Santa bike se ja raha tha, ladki ko dekh kar achanak gir gya..
Ladki- Oh my God! lagi to nhi?
Santa- O nai Sohniyo, hum to aise hi bike se utarte h
*****************************************************
• Duniya k 5 muskil kam
-Hathi ko dhakka lagana
-Machar ki malish Karna
-Chiti ko kiss Karna
-Ziraf ki gardan Dabana
-Apse sms ki umid Karna.
*****************************************************
• Ladka-Bus,Train Aur Ladki Ek Jaisi Hoti H, Ek Jati H To Dusri Aati H
Ladki-Taxi,AutoRiksha Aur Ladke Ek Jaise Hote H, Ek Bulao To 4 Chale Aate H
*****************************************************
Sir: It Seems u havent Studied ur geography y ?
Santa: My Dad says d World is changing EveryDay,
So I decided 2 wait Until it Settles Down..!!
*****************************************************
Santa K Ghar chor Aaya
Santa Ne Dekha To Chor Bhaga
Santa-Bhagte-Bhagte Chor Se Aage Nikal Gaya
Or Bola: 1To Chori Uper Se Humse race...
*****************************************************
Tandi-Tandi Hawa Chali
Mausam Hua Suhana
Tandi-Thandi Hawa Chali
Mausam Hua Suhana
BANDAR Bhi Msg Padh Raha Hai.. Kya EDUCATED Ho Gaya Zamana
*****************************************************
• 1 ladka apne bap se kahta hai.
BOY: "Bapu idhar aa"
MOM: "Aise nai bolte Beta,Dad ko Izzat se bolo"
Boy: "Bapu,Izzat se idhar aa"
*****************************************************
• PATIENT: Apne Nurse bahut Achhi rkhi h,
Uska Hath lagte hi Mai Thik ho gya
DOCTOR: Janta hu, Thappad ki Awaaz Mujhe b Sunai di
*****************************************************
• If I Need Brain Transplantn,
I wil Prefer Ur Brain..
.
Dont Think dt U r A GENIUS.
I Need a Brain Wich has been Nvr Usd b4.
*****************************************************
Ladki ka Dil pani ki trah hota hai
Ladke ka Dil Mobile ki tarah.
Chahay mobile Pani me Gire ya Pani mobile pe
Waat Mobile ki hi lagti hai
*****************************************************
Nafrat Na Karna Kabhi Humse
Hum Seh Nai Payege
Ek Baar Keh Dena Zarurat Nai Hai
Kasam Se Tujhe Pitne Ghar Tak Aayenge
*****************************************************
Baap Apni Beti Ke Premi Se- Mai Nahi Chahta K Meri Beti GADHE Ke Sath Puri Zindgi Bitaye
Premi- Ish Liye To Mai Usey Yaha Se Le Jana Chahta Hu
*****************************************************
• Ek Tapori ki wife: Sunte ho ji, Apne chinku ne aaj pehla aadha shabd bola.
Tapori: Achcha, Kya bola ?
Wife: Behan...
-
*****************************************************
• SarDiyo Ki Shaam Thi
Usne Mere Hath pakad Kar Kaha
Garam Hath Wafa Ki Nishani Hota hai
Maine Has Kar Kaha
Bevkoof Mujhe Bukhaar Hai.
*****************************************************
• 222 222 222 222 222
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Kuch Samaj Mai Aaya
Upar Kya Likha Hai
?
Yeh Hai
'DOCOMO' Tune
222 222 222 222 222
Ha Ha Ha
*****************************************************
Andu Jok
Andu Jok
• Logo Se Pange B Honge.
Ghar Me Dange B Honge.
Agar Muje Yaad Na Kiye To...
Tujhe 12 Bache Honge
2 Ganjey 2 Nangay Or 8 Lafange Honge...!
*****************************************************
• 1sharabi roz shiv mandir me jata tha,
1din pujari ne shiv k jagah ganesh murti rakhi.
sharabi Aya,
dekh k bola-chotu,papa se bolna me Aya tha
*****************************************************
• Aapke
Lips Bhindi Ki Tarah
GAAL tamatar ki Tarah
Nak mirchi ki tarah
Aur Face Gobhi Ki tarah
Ae Bhagwan
Ek Dost Diya wo b Sabzi Mandi Ki tarah
*****************************************************
• Very Important Health Tips:
Please Don't Eat
Pizzas,
Samosay,
Sandwich,
Ice Cream,
Chocolate,
And
Dahi Barray.
Without,
ME..
OK?
*****************************************************
• SANTA-Mai aur Meri Wife 20 Saal se Khush the
BANTA-Fir Kya hua?
.
.
.
BANTA: Batao Na Yaar!
SANTA: Fir Kya!
Ek din Hum mil gaye..
*****************************************************
• Mai Bilkul Sharif Ho Gaya Hu..
1 Ladki K Karib Ho Gaya Hu..
Uske Pass Mere Dil Ki Chabi Hai..
..Wo Mera Aakhri Pyar
Aur Tumhari 8vi Bhabhi Hai
*****************************************************
• 2Mendak Baithe the
1 Bola- Tarr
2sra Bola Tarr
1 fir Bola Tarr
2sra Fir Bola Tarr
1 Bola Farr
to 2sra Bola yaar tu Topic mat change kar
*****************************************************
3 srdr bed pe so rhe the
un tino ko jagah
thik se nhi mil rahi thi
1 sardr bed se niche sone laga
2nd srdr:ab jagah ho gai,upar aja
*****************************************************
Ghor kalyug ka sabut
Boy:Kya me tumhara hath chum sakta hu?
Girl: Kyu?
Kutte Kamine Haramjade mere
HONTO pe kya ZEHER laga he?
*****************************************************
• 6 flwrs 4 u
1 fr health
1 fr wealth
1 fr happiness
1 fr friendshp
N last two. . .??
AISE HI !
dono kaan pe laga lena
mast lagoge!
*****************************************************
• Plz Use Ur Left Ear
While Using Mobile..
Bcoz Using Right Ear Will Effect Ur Brain Directly..
Advised By TATA &
APOLLO MEDICAL TEAM.
*****************************************************
• Golden Words of Shakespeare,
"Go to help ur friend in Problem without invitation.
&
Dont go to ur friend in Happiness without invitation"
*****************************************************
• Snta-Dr. muje raat ko sapne me bandr cricket
khelte dikhai dete he
Dr-ye dawa aj se kha lo
Snta-kal se kha lu
Dr-kyu
Snta-aaj final hai
*****************************************************
• Budha 1 Ladki Se Tkrya
Budha:-Sorry
Grl:-Stupid
Tabi 1 Ladka us Se Tkrya
Ladka:-Sorry
Grl:-It's Ok
Budha:-Meri Sorry Ki Speling Glat Thi Kya
*****************************************************
• Be Happy Today Just Enjoy today
Freak Out Today Live frely today
Have Fun today
bcoz Who Knows
You Might Fall in Love 2mrow?
U loose al these
*****************************************************
• What is difference between
poison n Alcohol?
If u drink alcohol,
u wil dance around people.
If u drink poison,
ppl will dance around u!!!
*****************************************************
• A man is dying of Cancer.
SON-"Dad,y do u keep telling people u're dying of AIDS?"
MAN:So when I'm dead no one will dare 2 touCH UR MOM
*****************************************************
• Kitni Haseen Ho,
Duniya Ki Nazar Se Bacha Karo..
Aankho Me Kaajal Lagana Hi Kafi Nahi,
Gale Me
Nimbu Mirchi Bhi Latkaya Karo
najr na lage.com
*****************************************************
• After Exam:
Boyz of Delhi-Paper was easy.
Banglore-Paper thik tha
Chennai-Was Bit tough
Maharastra-Exam chod,meri bajuwali kya item thi yaa
*****************************************************
• Santa Marte Waqt-Tumhare Ghr 10 lakh ka
daka maine dalwaya tha
0r 50 lakh ki chori b mene hi krai thi
RAAZ-Tumhe Zehar bi Maine diya he
*****************************************************
• Mene Tujhko Pyar Kiya Aabla Nari Samajh Kar
Mene Tujhko Pyar Kiya Aabla Nari Samajh Kar
Par
Tere Gharwaalo Ne Mujhe Baja Dala Tabla Samajh Kar
*****************************************************
• EGG
.
CHICKEN
.
.
FISH
KABAAB
MUTTON
Chupke se padh kar
delete kar do
ye NonVeg sms hai
*****************************************************
• Ek Andha Police Me Bharti Hone K Liye Gya
Officer Ne Pucha-
"Tumhe Hum Kis Liye Rakhe"
Andhe Ne Fauran Jawab Diya-
Andha-Dhund Firing Ke Liye
*****************************************************
• New Couple Train se jate hue Surang se guzre
HUSBND: Agar pata hota Surang itni Lmbi hai to fayda utha leta
WIFE: Hey Ram
To kya o Aap nai the
*****************************************************
U.P me bachche ka surname:
Bacha Agar Ek aadmi se ho to EKNATH
2se-DUBE
3-TIVARI
4-CHATURVEDI
5se-PANDEY
Sab ka ho to-MISHRA
Or kisika B pata
*****************************************************
• 1 Cheez Hai Jo Agr Dry Hai To 2Kg
Wet HoTo 1Kg
or Agr Jal Jye To 3Kg
Btao Kya Cheez Hai
Its a Challenge
*****************************************************
• Boy to girl- Agar mai tumko kiss karu to tum kya sochogi?
Girl- yahi ki 1 bewkoof jo pura U.S.A ghoom sakta tha wo airport se hi wapas agaya.
*****************************************************
• Je kathin ahe te sope karave,
Je sope ahe te sahaj karave,
Je sahaj ahe te sundar karave,
Ani je sundar ahe tyavar manapasun PREM karave....
*****************************************************
• Khofnak
andheri
raat
ke
Sannatey
me
1 Bhoot
Dosrey Bhoot
ko
samjha
raha tha
Yaar
Darr mat
ye
Bhoot Woot kuch nahi hote
*****************************************************
• 2 ladkiya,
1 kali aur ek gori
Kali:Tu konsa cream lagati hai
Gori:Fair & lovely,aur tu?
Piche baitha santa bola: Cherry blossom
*****************************************************
• MARATHI means
M-Multi talented
A-Ambitious
R-Real
A-Achievers
T-Trustworthy
H-Heartwinning
I-Indians
Proud 2 be a 'MARATHI'
*****************************************************
• Bhikhari- kuch khana dedo,
Aadmi- TAMATAR KHAO,
Bhikari- ok! tamatar dedo
Aadmi ki wife boli-ye totle hai,
kah rahe hai-
KAMA'KAR KHAO
*****************************************************
• Sms krne k 4 fayde
1
riste kamjor nai hote
2
sab contact me rahte h
3
apno se dil ki bat keh sakte h
Or
4
kanjus kon he pata chlta hai
*****************************************************
• Logo Se Pange B Honge.
Ghar Me Dange B Honge.
Agar Muje Yaad Na Kiye To...
Tujhe 12 Bache Honge
2 Ganjey 2 Nangay Or 8 Lafange Honge...!
*****************************************************
• 1sharabi roz shiv mandir me jata tha,
1din pujari ne shiv k jagah ganesh murti rakhi.
sharabi Aya,
dekh k bola-chotu,papa se bolna me Aya tha
*****************************************************
• Aapke
Lips Bhindi Ki Tarah
GAAL tamatar ki Tarah
Nak mirchi ki tarah
Aur Face Gobhi Ki tarah
Ae Bhagwan
Ek Dost Diya wo b Sabzi Mandi Ki tarah
*****************************************************
• Very Important Health Tips:
Please Don't Eat
Pizzas,
Samosay,
Sandwich,
Ice Cream,
Chocolate,
And
Dahi Barray.
Without,
ME..
OK?
*****************************************************
• SANTA-Mai aur Meri Wife 20 Saal se Khush the
BANTA-Fir Kya hua?
.
.
.
BANTA: Batao Na Yaar!
SANTA: Fir Kya!
Ek din Hum mil gaye..
*****************************************************
• Mai Bilkul Sharif Ho Gaya Hu..
1 Ladki K Karib Ho Gaya Hu..
Uske Pass Mere Dil Ki Chabi Hai..
..Wo Mera Aakhri Pyar
Aur Tumhari 8vi Bhabhi Hai
*****************************************************
• 2Mendak Baithe the
1 Bola- Tarr
2sra Bola Tarr
1 fir Bola Tarr
2sra Fir Bola Tarr
1 Bola Farr
to 2sra Bola yaar tu Topic mat change kar
*****************************************************
3 srdr bed pe so rhe the
un tino ko jagah
thik se nhi mil rahi thi
1 sardr bed se niche sone laga
2nd srdr:ab jagah ho gai,upar aja
*****************************************************
Ghor kalyug ka sabut
Boy:Kya me tumhara hath chum sakta hu?
Girl: Kyu?
Kutte Kamine Haramjade mere
HONTO pe kya ZEHER laga he?
*****************************************************
• 6 flwrs 4 u
1 fr health
1 fr wealth
1 fr happiness
1 fr friendshp
N last two. . .??
AISE HI !
dono kaan pe laga lena
mast lagoge!
*****************************************************
• Plz Use Ur Left Ear
While Using Mobile..
Bcoz Using Right Ear Will Effect Ur Brain Directly..
Advised By TATA &
APOLLO MEDICAL TEAM.
*****************************************************
• Golden Words of Shakespeare,
"Go to help ur friend in Problem without invitation.
&
Dont go to ur friend in Happiness without invitation"
*****************************************************
• Snta-Dr. muje raat ko sapne me bandr cricket
khelte dikhai dete he
Dr-ye dawa aj se kha lo
Snta-kal se kha lu
Dr-kyu
Snta-aaj final hai
*****************************************************
• Budha 1 Ladki Se Tkrya
Budha:-Sorry
Grl:-Stupid
Tabi 1 Ladka us Se Tkrya
Ladka:-Sorry
Grl:-It's Ok
Budha:-Meri Sorry Ki Speling Glat Thi Kya
*****************************************************
• Be Happy Today Just Enjoy today
Freak Out Today Live frely today
Have Fun today
bcoz Who Knows
You Might Fall in Love 2mrow?
U loose al these
*****************************************************
• What is difference between
poison n Alcohol?
If u drink alcohol,
u wil dance around people.
If u drink poison,
ppl will dance around u!!!
*****************************************************
• A man is dying of Cancer.
SON-"Dad,y do u keep telling people u're dying of AIDS?"
MAN:So when I'm dead no one will dare 2 touCH UR MOM
*****************************************************
• Kitni Haseen Ho,
Duniya Ki Nazar Se Bacha Karo..
Aankho Me Kaajal Lagana Hi Kafi Nahi,
Gale Me
Nimbu Mirchi Bhi Latkaya Karo
najr na lage.com
*****************************************************
• After Exam:
Boyz of Delhi-Paper was easy.
Banglore-Paper thik tha
Chennai-Was Bit tough
Maharastra-Exam chod,meri bajuwali kya item thi yaa
*****************************************************
• Santa Marte Waqt-Tumhare Ghr 10 lakh ka
daka maine dalwaya tha
0r 50 lakh ki chori b mene hi krai thi
RAAZ-Tumhe Zehar bi Maine diya he
*****************************************************
• Mene Tujhko Pyar Kiya Aabla Nari Samajh Kar
Mene Tujhko Pyar Kiya Aabla Nari Samajh Kar
Par
Tere Gharwaalo Ne Mujhe Baja Dala Tabla Samajh Kar
*****************************************************
• EGG
.
CHICKEN
.
.
FISH
KABAAB
MUTTON
Chupke se padh kar
delete kar do
ye NonVeg sms hai
*****************************************************
• Ek Andha Police Me Bharti Hone K Liye Gya
Officer Ne Pucha-
"Tumhe Hum Kis Liye Rakhe"
Andhe Ne Fauran Jawab Diya-
Andha-Dhund Firing Ke Liye
*****************************************************
• New Couple Train se jate hue Surang se guzre
HUSBND: Agar pata hota Surang itni Lmbi hai to fayda utha leta
WIFE: Hey Ram
To kya o Aap nai the
*****************************************************
U.P me bachche ka surname:
Bacha Agar Ek aadmi se ho to EKNATH
2se-DUBE
3-TIVARI
4-CHATURVEDI
5se-PANDEY
Sab ka ho to-MISHRA
Or kisika B pata
*****************************************************
• 1 Cheez Hai Jo Agr Dry Hai To 2Kg
Wet HoTo 1Kg
or Agr Jal Jye To 3Kg
Btao Kya Cheez Hai
Its a Challenge
*****************************************************
• Boy to girl- Agar mai tumko kiss karu to tum kya sochogi?
Girl- yahi ki 1 bewkoof jo pura U.S.A ghoom sakta tha wo airport se hi wapas agaya.
*****************************************************
• Je kathin ahe te sope karave,
Je sope ahe te sahaj karave,
Je sahaj ahe te sundar karave,
Ani je sundar ahe tyavar manapasun PREM karave....
*****************************************************
• Khofnak
andheri
raat
ke
Sannatey
me
1 Bhoot
Dosrey Bhoot
ko
samjha
raha tha
Yaar
Darr mat
ye
Bhoot Woot kuch nahi hote
*****************************************************
• 2 ladkiya,
1 kali aur ek gori
Kali:Tu konsa cream lagati hai
Gori:Fair & lovely,aur tu?
Piche baitha santa bola: Cherry blossom
*****************************************************
• MARATHI means
M-Multi talented
A-Ambitious
R-Real
A-Achievers
T-Trustworthy
H-Heartwinning
I-Indians
Proud 2 be a 'MARATHI'
*****************************************************
• Bhikhari- kuch khana dedo,
Aadmi- TAMATAR KHAO,
Bhikari- ok! tamatar dedo
Aadmi ki wife boli-ye totle hai,
kah rahe hai-
KAMA'KAR KHAO
*****************************************************
• Sms krne k 4 fayde
1
riste kamjor nai hote
2
sab contact me rahte h
3
apno se dil ki bat keh sakte h
Or
4
kanjus kon he pata chlta hai
*****************************************************
Fine Jok
Fine Jok
Which Is d Biggest Thing In d WOrld?
SEA?
NO.
MOUNTAIN?NO.
SKY?NO.
DOnt Know?
My Big Heart Which Sends U SMS Daily!
*****************************************************
• Bikhre rishtoko koi roop dedo
Khilte fulo ko thodi dhoop dedo
Aapki yad aayi to sms kiya hamne
Aap v hamari yad aaneka koi sabut dedo
*****************************************************
• Mai
Agar
Kahu
Tmsa
Hasen
Kainaat
Me
Nai
He
Koi .
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
To Yar Yaqen Mat Krna
Insan Pareshani Me
Kuch Ulta Seedha Bol Jata
*****************************************************
• Santa-Tumhare Liye Sab Chhor Dunga
G-Ammi Abbu?
S-Ha
G-Khana Pina?
S-Ha
G-Apne Dost?
S-Ji
G-Gutka?
S-Jao Mausi Apna Kaam Karo. :-)
*****************************************************
• DAKU SHER
Chambal k Ghati me mujhe mile 11 kiss
Gaur pharmayiye
Chambal k Ghati me mujhe mile 11 kiss
Mutual Funds r subject 2 Market Risk
WAH
*****************************************************
• Boy-I LUV U
Girl-I Dont
B-Think Again
G-I Dont
B-Waiter, Bill Alag Alag Lana
G-I LUV U, I LUV U, Keh To Rahi Hu.. Tum B Na Bas Bura Maan Jate Ho
*****************************************************
• Sonu Ki Monu Se Hui Ladai
Monu Ne Ki Uski Khub Pitai
Sonu Ka Khaula Khoon
Kabristan Ja K
Kabar Pe Monu Ki Photo Tang K Likh Aya
'COMING SOON'
*****************************************************
• Bus Chali
Jhatka Laga
Ladka Ek Ladki Pe Ja Gira
Ladki- Battameez, Kya Kar Rahe Ho..
Ladka- Ji poona University Se
B.A. Final
*****************************************************
• our FRIENDSHIP is a blank cheque for ME
It"s an ASSET not a LIABLITY
always a CREDITnot DEBIT
always a PROFIT not a LOS
& I HOPE T WILL NOT BOUNC
*****************************************************
• LyF is sHort
LIVE IT
Luv is rare
GRAB IT
Angr is bad
DUMP IT
Fear is awful
FACE IT
Memories r swt CHERISH IT
Sender is Genius, ACCEPT IT !
*****************************************************
• Lamho Me Shaam Dhal Jayegi
Lamho Me Rat Guzar Jayegi
Hr Lamha Hum Tumhe Yaad Karenge
Aur Yadgar Lamho Me Tumhe Hmari Hi Yaad Aayegi
*****************************************************
• D se Dil
D -Dosti
D -Dushmani
D -Dard
D -Deewangi
D se Dillagi
Par
D se Doori
Itni na ho jaye ki
D se Dum nikal jaye
SAMJE
D Se my Dear!
*****************************************************
• HUMANS fall in love
dats normal
COWS eat grass
dats natural
But a MONKEY
now pressing MOBILE keys
INCREDIBLE!
still pressing
UNBELIEVABLE
*****************************************************
• T20 format 4 EXAM
Reduce xam time to 1hr n marks to 20
breaks aftr each 15 mins for discussions
Freehit mark 4 unexpted Q
1st 30 mins powerplay
*****************************************************
• Aaj Free Rehna
Koi Program Mt Bna
I m Coming 2Meet U
Tuje Kahi Le Jna He
Plz
Mna Mt Krna
OR
Kisi Ko Btana Mt
TujePOLIO DROP Pilana he
*****************************************************
• Wadio se suraj nikal aya hai,
fizaao me naya rang chaya hai
ab bhi nind me kyou ho,
abto uth jao.
Apko'GOOD MORNING' kehne mere sms aaya hai
*****************************************************
• "Husn" Or "Ishq" Dono Dost The
Ek Bar Unme Jhagda Ho Gya
Husn Ne Ishq Ki Ankhen Noch Li
Aur?
Tabhi Se "Ishq Andha" Or "Husn Katil" Ho GaY
*****************************************************
• 1srdar hnuman jyanti k din mndir gya,jab arti ki thali srdar k samne ayi to srdar ne fook mar k arti bujha kr kha
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY HANUMAN JI
*****************************************************
• Ek Fauji Afsar santa se
agar Maidaan me Tmhare Pass Goliya Khatam Ho jaye To Tm kya karoge?
Santa:Maine awezein Nikaluga
Dhiskhoon Dhiskhoon
*****************************************************
• What is Santa's culture?
Santa's culture is agriculture.
Y Santa's culture is agriculture?
Coz Santa agree wid every culture..
Ha ha ha
*****************************************************
Mn.sing-We are sending Indians to the moon next year
Bush-Wow!How many
Mn.sing-
25 OBC
25 SC
20 ST
5 Handicpd
5 Sports
if possble 1 astronout
*****************************************************
• A Sardar Calls Another Sardar On the Phone And says-
Hello, Mai Bol rha Hu.
The Other Sardar Replies-
Kamaal He,
Idhar Bhi Mai Bol raha Hu!
*****************************************************
• Boy Propose a Girl- Do U Love Me
Girl- Shakal Dekhi H Apni,
Isse Achha To Me Sucide Kar Lu
Boy- Kamini Mar Jaygi Par 1 Garib K Kaam Nahi Ayegi
*****************************************************
• Indian-I have 4 sisters & 3 brothers.
what about you?
American-I have no sister no brother
but i have 4 MOMS from 1st DAD&
5 DADS from my 1st MOM
*****************************************************
• U r "G"reat
U r "O"utstanding
U r "R"ealistic
U r "I"ntelligent
U r "L"ovable
U r "L"ikeable
U r "A"dorable
In Short ur name is "GORILLA"
*****************************************************
• DRY DAY CALENDER2010
JAN-26,30
MAR-1,22
MAY-1
JULY-1,14
AUG-1,15
SEP-1,3,14
OCT-1,2,8
NOV-1,9
DEC-1
Fwd this important msg2all Commitee mbr
*****************************************************
• Ladki se NASHA hota h
NASHE se junun
JUNUN se mehnat
MEHNAT se padhai
PADHAI se CAREER
Isliye CAREER banane k liye ladki patana bahut zaruri hai
*****************************************************
• Smart Boy+smart nari =affair jari
Smart Boy+Bevkuf nari =paaw bhari.
Bevkuf Boy+Bevkuf nari =shaadi ki tyari.
Bevkuf Boy+ smrt nari =Boy "BIHIKARI
*****************************************************
• Ae Mere Kadardan
Dost Tu Hai Meri Jaan
Tum Humesha Rahoge..
..Hatte Katte Naujawan
Kyu K
Allah Meharban Toh
Gadha Pehelwan
*****************************************************
Alphabet 'o' stands for opportunity
which s absent in Yesterday
available once in tOday
thrice in tOmOrrOw
so dont repent for yesterdy
Go get it
*****************************************************
Santa ki wife ka Rang kala tha
ek din Red Saree pehan ke.
Pucha:main Kaisi Dikh rahi hu?
*****************************************************
Santa:jaise kajal ki factory Me aag lag Gayi ho.!
West INdies ka pehla Aadmi baNa kar God Ne kya bola hoga? Guess.,
.
.
.
Guess.,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
Aaila.,Yeh piece to Jal Gaya.
*****************************************************
• AAp k Liye ek Film me,
Chota sa Role he.
Heroin aap ko Gufa me le Jayegi
Aur
Goli mar degi
Film he
"GUFA ME BANDAR KI MAUT'.
*****************************************************
• Uthale re
Deva
Mereko nhi re
Deva
Mere dost ko uthale
Dunia se nhi re
Deva
NiND se utha le
Mere ko Gud morng bolne ka re...
*****************************************************
• Girl- Kuch Aisa kaho
Jisse Mere
Dil ki
Dhadkan tez ho Jaye,
aur
Mera Dil
Zor se Dhadkne lage.
Boy- BHAAG TERI MAA AA Rahi He...!
*****************************************************
• Ladke mandir kyu jate Hai
Q ki o 1hi jaga he jaha
Aastha
Puja
shraddha
Aarti
Archna
Aradhna
Shanti
Jyoti
Priti
Karuna
Aur
Mukti milti he
*****************************************************
• Jab ladki pranam karne jhukti hai to kya dikhta hai ?
Uske sanskar dikhte hai....
Aapne Jo socha,
isse Aapke sanskar dikhte hai.
Ha..Ha..
*****************************************************
• 10 PYAAR Bhare SMS
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
Kuch Nazar Aaya?
Nahi?
PYAAR Nazar Nahi Ata Mehsoos Kiya jaata hai.
*****************************************************
• Sms ke Rate:
1996-Rs6,
2000-Rs4,
2004-Rs2,
2006-Rs1,
2007-50ps,
2008-10ps,
2009-1ps...
Ab aap kya karoge jab sms pe Loan milega?
*****************************************************
• Snta-agr tu bta de k meri tokri me
kya h to sb ande tere or ye bta de k kitne to 8k8 tere
or agr ye bta de k kisk to murgi b teri
bnta-HINT DE!
*****************************************************
• Apun tera dost,
Dost bole to bhai,
Bhai bole to Munna bhai MBBS,
MBBS bole to Dr.Dr.bole to kya?
Bole to chal chaddi utar injection lagana hai.
*****************************************************
• MunnaBhai-Yaar yeh kutte poonch kyu hilate hai
Bole to dog tail shaking WHY
Circuit-Common sense Bhai
Ab poonch kutte ko to nahin hila sakti hai n
*****************************************************
• Santa Ne Banta Ki Beti Ka Rishta Manga
Banta Ne Santa Ko Bahut Mara
Mar Kha K Santa Utha
Kapde Jhad k Bola
To Phir Main kya Inkar Samjhun?
*****************************************************
• Bhai ji,
Chaand par
Paani
mil gaya hai.!!
.
.
.
.
Glass
or Daroo lekar
jaldi aa jaao
New year wahi par manaygaye
Happy new year 2010
*****************************************************
• Dosto Agar 2009 Me Ab Tak Mujse Koi
Ghalati Hui Ho Ya Koi Baat Aap Ko Buri Lagi Ho
To
Jo Kr Sakte Ho Kr Lo
Mai 2010 Me B Baaz Nahi Aonga.
*****************************************************
Which Is d Biggest Thing In d WOrld?
SEA?
NO.
MOUNTAIN?NO.
SKY?NO.
DOnt Know?
My Big Heart Which Sends U SMS Daily!
*****************************************************
• Bikhre rishtoko koi roop dedo
Khilte fulo ko thodi dhoop dedo
Aapki yad aayi to sms kiya hamne
Aap v hamari yad aaneka koi sabut dedo
*****************************************************
• Mai
Agar
Kahu
Tmsa
Hasen
Kainaat
Me
Nai
He
Koi .
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
To Yar Yaqen Mat Krna
Insan Pareshani Me
Kuch Ulta Seedha Bol Jata
*****************************************************
• Santa-Tumhare Liye Sab Chhor Dunga
G-Ammi Abbu?
S-Ha
G-Khana Pina?
S-Ha
G-Apne Dost?
S-Ji
G-Gutka?
S-Jao Mausi Apna Kaam Karo. :-)
*****************************************************
• DAKU SHER
Chambal k Ghati me mujhe mile 11 kiss
Gaur pharmayiye
Chambal k Ghati me mujhe mile 11 kiss
Mutual Funds r subject 2 Market Risk
WAH
*****************************************************
• Boy-I LUV U
Girl-I Dont
B-Think Again
G-I Dont
B-Waiter, Bill Alag Alag Lana
G-I LUV U, I LUV U, Keh To Rahi Hu.. Tum B Na Bas Bura Maan Jate Ho
*****************************************************
• Sonu Ki Monu Se Hui Ladai
Monu Ne Ki Uski Khub Pitai
Sonu Ka Khaula Khoon
Kabristan Ja K
Kabar Pe Monu Ki Photo Tang K Likh Aya
'COMING SOON'
*****************************************************
• Bus Chali
Jhatka Laga
Ladka Ek Ladki Pe Ja Gira
Ladki- Battameez, Kya Kar Rahe Ho..
Ladka- Ji poona University Se
B.A. Final
*****************************************************
• our FRIENDSHIP is a blank cheque for ME
It"s an ASSET not a LIABLITY
always a CREDITnot DEBIT
always a PROFIT not a LOS
& I HOPE T WILL NOT BOUNC
*****************************************************
• LyF is sHort
LIVE IT
Luv is rare
GRAB IT
Angr is bad
DUMP IT
Fear is awful
FACE IT
Memories r swt CHERISH IT
Sender is Genius, ACCEPT IT !
*****************************************************
• Lamho Me Shaam Dhal Jayegi
Lamho Me Rat Guzar Jayegi
Hr Lamha Hum Tumhe Yaad Karenge
Aur Yadgar Lamho Me Tumhe Hmari Hi Yaad Aayegi
*****************************************************
• D se Dil
D -Dosti
D -Dushmani
D -Dard
D -Deewangi
D se Dillagi
Par
D se Doori
Itni na ho jaye ki
D se Dum nikal jaye
SAMJE
D Se my Dear!
*****************************************************
• HUMANS fall in love
dats normal
COWS eat grass
dats natural
But a MONKEY
now pressing MOBILE keys
INCREDIBLE!
still pressing
UNBELIEVABLE
*****************************************************
• T20 format 4 EXAM
Reduce xam time to 1hr n marks to 20
breaks aftr each 15 mins for discussions
Freehit mark 4 unexpted Q
1st 30 mins powerplay
*****************************************************
• Aaj Free Rehna
Koi Program Mt Bna
I m Coming 2Meet U
Tuje Kahi Le Jna He
Plz
Mna Mt Krna
OR
Kisi Ko Btana Mt
TujePOLIO DROP Pilana he
*****************************************************
• Wadio se suraj nikal aya hai,
fizaao me naya rang chaya hai
ab bhi nind me kyou ho,
abto uth jao.
Apko'GOOD MORNING' kehne mere sms aaya hai
*****************************************************
• "Husn" Or "Ishq" Dono Dost The
Ek Bar Unme Jhagda Ho Gya
Husn Ne Ishq Ki Ankhen Noch Li
Aur?
Tabhi Se "Ishq Andha" Or "Husn Katil" Ho GaY
*****************************************************
• 1srdar hnuman jyanti k din mndir gya,jab arti ki thali srdar k samne ayi to srdar ne fook mar k arti bujha kr kha
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY HANUMAN JI
*****************************************************
• Ek Fauji Afsar santa se
agar Maidaan me Tmhare Pass Goliya Khatam Ho jaye To Tm kya karoge?
Santa:Maine awezein Nikaluga
Dhiskhoon Dhiskhoon
*****************************************************
• What is Santa's culture?
Santa's culture is agriculture.
Y Santa's culture is agriculture?
Coz Santa agree wid every culture..
Ha ha ha
*****************************************************
Mn.sing-We are sending Indians to the moon next year
Bush-Wow!How many
Mn.sing-
25 OBC
25 SC
20 ST
5 Handicpd
5 Sports
if possble 1 astronout
*****************************************************
• A Sardar Calls Another Sardar On the Phone And says-
Hello, Mai Bol rha Hu.
The Other Sardar Replies-
Kamaal He,
Idhar Bhi Mai Bol raha Hu!
*****************************************************
• Boy Propose a Girl- Do U Love Me
Girl- Shakal Dekhi H Apni,
Isse Achha To Me Sucide Kar Lu
Boy- Kamini Mar Jaygi Par 1 Garib K Kaam Nahi Ayegi
*****************************************************
• Indian-I have 4 sisters & 3 brothers.
what about you?
American-I have no sister no brother
but i have 4 MOMS from 1st DAD&
5 DADS from my 1st MOM
*****************************************************
• U r "G"reat
U r "O"utstanding
U r "R"ealistic
U r "I"ntelligent
U r "L"ovable
U r "L"ikeable
U r "A"dorable
In Short ur name is "GORILLA"
*****************************************************
• DRY DAY CALENDER2010
JAN-26,30
MAR-1,22
MAY-1
JULY-1,14
AUG-1,15
SEP-1,3,14
OCT-1,2,8
NOV-1,9
DEC-1
Fwd this important msg2all Commitee mbr
*****************************************************
• Ladki se NASHA hota h
NASHE se junun
JUNUN se mehnat
MEHNAT se padhai
PADHAI se CAREER
Isliye CAREER banane k liye ladki patana bahut zaruri hai
*****************************************************
• Smart Boy+smart nari =affair jari
Smart Boy+Bevkuf nari =paaw bhari.
Bevkuf Boy+Bevkuf nari =shaadi ki tyari.
Bevkuf Boy+ smrt nari =Boy "BIHIKARI
*****************************************************
• Ae Mere Kadardan
Dost Tu Hai Meri Jaan
Tum Humesha Rahoge..
..Hatte Katte Naujawan
Kyu K
Allah Meharban Toh
Gadha Pehelwan
*****************************************************
Alphabet 'o' stands for opportunity
which s absent in Yesterday
available once in tOday
thrice in tOmOrrOw
so dont repent for yesterdy
Go get it
*****************************************************
Santa ki wife ka Rang kala tha
ek din Red Saree pehan ke.
Pucha:main Kaisi Dikh rahi hu?
*****************************************************
Santa:jaise kajal ki factory Me aag lag Gayi ho.!
West INdies ka pehla Aadmi baNa kar God Ne kya bola hoga? Guess.,
.
.
.
Guess.,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
Aaila.,Yeh piece to Jal Gaya.
*****************************************************
• AAp k Liye ek Film me,
Chota sa Role he.
Heroin aap ko Gufa me le Jayegi
Aur
Goli mar degi
Film he
"GUFA ME BANDAR KI MAUT'.
*****************************************************
• Uthale re
Deva
Mereko nhi re
Deva
Mere dost ko uthale
Dunia se nhi re
Deva
NiND se utha le
Mere ko Gud morng bolne ka re...
*****************************************************
• Girl- Kuch Aisa kaho
Jisse Mere
Dil ki
Dhadkan tez ho Jaye,
aur
Mera Dil
Zor se Dhadkne lage.
Boy- BHAAG TERI MAA AA Rahi He...!
*****************************************************
• Ladke mandir kyu jate Hai
Q ki o 1hi jaga he jaha
Aastha
Puja
shraddha
Aarti
Archna
Aradhna
Shanti
Jyoti
Priti
Karuna
Aur
Mukti milti he
*****************************************************
• Jab ladki pranam karne jhukti hai to kya dikhta hai ?
Uske sanskar dikhte hai....
Aapne Jo socha,
isse Aapke sanskar dikhte hai.
Ha..Ha..
*****************************************************
• 10 PYAAR Bhare SMS
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
Kuch Nazar Aaya?
Nahi?
PYAAR Nazar Nahi Ata Mehsoos Kiya jaata hai.
*****************************************************
• Sms ke Rate:
1996-Rs6,
2000-Rs4,
2004-Rs2,
2006-Rs1,
2007-50ps,
2008-10ps,
2009-1ps...
Ab aap kya karoge jab sms pe Loan milega?
*****************************************************
• Snta-agr tu bta de k meri tokri me
kya h to sb ande tere or ye bta de k kitne to 8k8 tere
or agr ye bta de k kisk to murgi b teri
bnta-HINT DE!
*****************************************************
• Apun tera dost,
Dost bole to bhai,
Bhai bole to Munna bhai MBBS,
MBBS bole to Dr.Dr.bole to kya?
Bole to chal chaddi utar injection lagana hai.
*****************************************************
• MunnaBhai-Yaar yeh kutte poonch kyu hilate hai
Bole to dog tail shaking WHY
Circuit-Common sense Bhai
Ab poonch kutte ko to nahin hila sakti hai n
*****************************************************
• Santa Ne Banta Ki Beti Ka Rishta Manga
Banta Ne Santa Ko Bahut Mara
Mar Kha K Santa Utha
Kapde Jhad k Bola
To Phir Main kya Inkar Samjhun?
*****************************************************
• Bhai ji,
Chaand par
Paani
mil gaya hai.!!
.
.
.
.
Glass
or Daroo lekar
jaldi aa jaao
New year wahi par manaygaye
Happy new year 2010
*****************************************************
• Dosto Agar 2009 Me Ab Tak Mujse Koi
Ghalati Hui Ho Ya Koi Baat Aap Ko Buri Lagi Ho
To
Jo Kr Sakte Ho Kr Lo
Mai 2010 Me B Baaz Nahi Aonga.
*****************************************************
Sabta-Banta Jok
Sabta-Banta Jok
• Good Time Bad Time
Day Time Night Time
Off Time Work Time
Naye Saal Me Kisi v Time
Apun ka SMS Aa Sakta Hy
Bole To..
HaPpY nEW YEaR
*****************************************************
• main tumse kuch
kehna chahata hu,
wahi baat jo dil
ko chu jaye,
wahi pyar ke 3
akshar,
wahi rubab,
wahi rutaba
"MERA BHARAT MAHAAN"
*****************************************************
• 2009 khatam Hone Me Kuch Samay Baki He
Koi
Galti
Gustakhi
Khta
Ho Gai Ho To
plz
plz
plz
Mafi Mang Lena
Me Aaj Acche mud me hun.
*****************************************************
• After serious & cautious consideration
Ur contract of frndshp renewed
for the New Year 2010
It's a very hard decision 2 make
So don't screw it up
*****************************************************
GOLU begum k liye chapal lene Gya
Dukandar-Golu G Size to batao?
GOLU-Yaar wo to Mai bhool gaya Hu
aisa kero meri KAMAR pe nishan dekh le
*****************************************************
• Maine Kahi suna tha ki
KhubSurat Cheez Dekhne se Insaan Khud b khubsurat ho jata hai
So Hamesha Aapne pass
meri Tasvir Rakha karo
*****************************************************
• Ladki Aapne BF Se-
Mera Bachha
Mera Ladla
Mera Sonu-Monu
Mujh Se Shaadi Karoge.?
Bolo Baby
BF- Abe.. Tu Mujhe Propose Kar Rahi Hai Ya Adopt
*****************************************************
• santa uski bahen ke sath scooter pe ja raha tha
Signal pe kisine pucha "kya ye aapki biwi lagti hai?"
santa-biwi hogi teri, meri to bahen he saale.
*****************************************************
• DOSTI AGAR BURI HAI TO USE HONE MAT DO,
HO GAYI TO USE KHONE NA DO,
AUR AGAR DOST HO SABSE PYARA TO USE SONE MAT DO...
!! JAGTE RAHO
*****************************************************
• Shadi me 1 aadmi bohut der tak
khana kha raha tha
kisi ne pocha kab tuk khoge
me to khud kha-kha ke dukhi hu
pr kya karu card me likha he 7-10 pm
*****************************************************
• A
A
A
A
A
A
A
A
A
A
A
A
A
A
A
A
A
A
Aa
Aa
Aaa
Aaa
Aaakchii
mausam Hi aisa Hai
kya kare...
Happy THANDI
*****************************************************
• Har mod ka mukam nhi hota
Dil ke rishto ka koi nam nhi hota
NASA ki help se khoja hai Apko,
warna apke jaisi prajati ka milna asan nhi hota
*****************************************************
• Husband-Tum
Meri Zindgi ho
or
Wife-Aur kya?
Tell Me Aur Kya?
Hus-Aur Laanat He
Aisi Zindagi Par
*****************************************************
• LALU Ka Darwaza Zor Se Baja.
Wo Ghusse Se Darwaze Pr Gaya Aur Bola:
"Kon Gadhe Ka Bacha Hai?
Bahar Se Aawaz Aai:
.
.
Papa Mai Hu. :-)
*****************************************************
• Sana- maine obama Ko Politics Bill gates ko Business aur amitabh Ko Acting Sikhaya hai
Tumne kya kiya hai?
Banta- Maine Tumhe Jooth Bolna Sikhya ha
Whats D Diff. b/w
Confidence
& Over Confidence
Confidence- U Can KISS Ur GirlFriend
Over Confidence- Only U Can KISS Her
*****************************************************
• Teacher-Dunya K Pehle Insaan Ki Nationality Kya Thi?
Boy-Indian
T-Kaise?
Boy-Uske Paas
Na Ghar Tha
Na Aata
Na Bijli
Fir B Wo Zinda tha
*****************************************************
• " pass aa kar sabhi door chale jate hain
hum akele the akele reh jate hain
dil ka dird kis ko dikhaein
marham lagane wale hi zakham de jate hain "
*****************************************************
• Snta Ki Beti Ko SMS Aaya-"I LOVE YOU"
Snta Gusse Me Beti Se-
Jisne sms Kiya Hai Usse To Mai Dekh Luga
Filhal Tum Uska Sms Usse Wapis Bhejo.
*****************************************************
• Teacher-Tum Class Main Topi Kyu Pehan Kar Aate Ho?
GOLU-Taaki Kisi ko Pata na Chale Ke
Mere Dimagh Me Kya Chal Raha Hai. :-)
*****************************************************
• Smartness of boys
Colage ka First Day
Boy:- Tumhra Name kya hai?
Gal- Mujhe Sab Didi kahte hai
Boy-wow What a Coincidence Mujhe sab Jijaji kahte
*****************************************************
• A Fully Burnt Cigaratte Ash Said..
'Today Its Me.. Because 0f U
Tomorrow Its U.. Because 0f Me'
..Plz Send It To All Ur Friends Who r Smoking..
*****************************************************
• Sir Ne SHARAB Ke Nuksaan Batane K Liye, 1Kida Isme Dala To Wo Mar Gaya
Sir-Tumne Isse Kya Sikha
Student-SHARAB Peene Se PET K Kide Mar Jate Hai
*****************************************************
• Prem Mhanje
Khel Nahi
Shwas Dyawa
Lagto
Prem Mhanje
Khel Nahi
Dhyas Ghyawa
Lagto
Preysi Jawal
Nastana Ticha
Aabhas Vhava
Lagto
*****************************************************
• 1 Chuha Sharaab k Drum me Gira or Must ho kNikla
& Soyi hui Billi k Muh p Dum Maar k Bola
"Billo Rani! kaho to abhi jaan de du......
*****************************************************
• Pyar Pyar Pyar
Pyar Pyar Pyar
Pyar Pyar Pyar
Pyar Pyar Pyar
Pyar Pyar Pyar
Dekha
Kitna Pyar bhara msg beja TUMko
*****************************************************
• Full form of banks-
HSBC: Hum Sabse Bade Chor
HDFC: Har Dum Fakir Chand
IDBI: Itna Dhan Bina Income
SBI:Sab Bhikari Idhar..
*****************************************************
• Tumhara Naam Phul Rakhu To Bikhar Jaoge
DIL Rakhu To Tut Jaoge
Chalo BIJLI Rakhta Hu
Chhod K Jaoge To 1 Ghante Baad Wapas Aa jaoge
*****************************************************
• Old Concept:- "Do or Die"
New Concept: "Do Before u die"
Latest Concept: "Don't Die Until u Do"
Our Concept:
"What TO Do?"
*****************************************************
• How Santa Like 2 Take Bath In Winter-
He Stand Infront Of D Mirror
Then
Throw Water On D Mirror
&
Says
Oh Mar Gaya Yaar, Itna Thanda Pani
*****************************************************
• Kal Ho Aaj Jaisa..
Mahal Ho Taj Jaisa..
Phool Ho Gulab Jaisa..
Aur
Jeevan Ke Har Mod Pe,
Dost Ho..
?
?
Oye Hello..
Dost Ho MERE Jaisa
*****************************************************
• Thought for the day-Many of lifes failures, are men who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
*****************************************************
• Santa:-Aaj tere cell pe bade
I L0vE U
k msg aa rahe hai.!
Kya baat hai?
Banta-(Fakr se)
O kuch nahi Ji
Aaj BIWI ka cell laya hu na
*****************************************************
• Nukrani:Malkin aap udas kyo hai?
Malkin:tumhare sahab apne office ki kisi ladki se pyar karte hai.
Nukrani:nahi sahab mujhe dhoka nahi de sakte
*****************************************************
SAGAR-mom,ye Gf kya hoti h?
Mom-jab tum bade hoke acche ladke banoge to tumhe b
1milegi
B-agr acha ladka nhi bana to?
M-to fir bahut milengi.
*****************************************************
• Gana sunoge ?
00o0oo0ooo0oooo
0ooooo0oooooo0o
ooooooHuzur
13 13 1313 13 13 1313 13 13 13Surur
Focut me to aisa hi milega
*****************************************************
• Good Time Bad Time
Day Time Night Time
Off Time Work Time
Naye Saal Me Kisi v Time
Apun ka SMS Aa Sakta Hy
Bole To..
HaPpY nEW YEaR
*****************************************************
• main tumse kuch
kehna chahata hu,
wahi baat jo dil
ko chu jaye,
wahi pyar ke 3
akshar,
wahi rubab,
wahi rutaba
"MERA BHARAT MAHAAN"
*****************************************************
• 2009 khatam Hone Me Kuch Samay Baki He
Koi
Galti
Gustakhi
Khta
Ho Gai Ho To
plz
plz
plz
Mafi Mang Lena
Me Aaj Acche mud me hun.
*****************************************************
• After serious & cautious consideration
Ur contract of frndshp renewed
for the New Year 2010
It's a very hard decision 2 make
So don't screw it up
*****************************************************
GOLU begum k liye chapal lene Gya
Dukandar-Golu G Size to batao?
GOLU-Yaar wo to Mai bhool gaya Hu
aisa kero meri KAMAR pe nishan dekh le
*****************************************************
• Maine Kahi suna tha ki
KhubSurat Cheez Dekhne se Insaan Khud b khubsurat ho jata hai
So Hamesha Aapne pass
meri Tasvir Rakha karo
*****************************************************
• Ladki Aapne BF Se-
Mera Bachha
Mera Ladla
Mera Sonu-Monu
Mujh Se Shaadi Karoge.?
Bolo Baby
BF- Abe.. Tu Mujhe Propose Kar Rahi Hai Ya Adopt
*****************************************************
• santa uski bahen ke sath scooter pe ja raha tha
Signal pe kisine pucha "kya ye aapki biwi lagti hai?"
santa-biwi hogi teri, meri to bahen he saale.
*****************************************************
• DOSTI AGAR BURI HAI TO USE HONE MAT DO,
HO GAYI TO USE KHONE NA DO,
AUR AGAR DOST HO SABSE PYARA TO USE SONE MAT DO...
!! JAGTE RAHO
*****************************************************
• Shadi me 1 aadmi bohut der tak
khana kha raha tha
kisi ne pocha kab tuk khoge
me to khud kha-kha ke dukhi hu
pr kya karu card me likha he 7-10 pm
*****************************************************
• A
A
A
A
A
A
A
A
A
A
A
A
A
A
A
A
A
A
Aa
Aa
Aaa
Aaa
Aaakchii
mausam Hi aisa Hai
kya kare...
Happy THANDI
*****************************************************
• Har mod ka mukam nhi hota
Dil ke rishto ka koi nam nhi hota
NASA ki help se khoja hai Apko,
warna apke jaisi prajati ka milna asan nhi hota
*****************************************************
• Husband-Tum
Meri Zindgi ho
or
Wife-Aur kya?
Tell Me Aur Kya?
Hus-Aur Laanat He
Aisi Zindagi Par
*****************************************************
• LALU Ka Darwaza Zor Se Baja.
Wo Ghusse Se Darwaze Pr Gaya Aur Bola:
"Kon Gadhe Ka Bacha Hai?
Bahar Se Aawaz Aai:
.
.
Papa Mai Hu. :-)
*****************************************************
• Sana- maine obama Ko Politics Bill gates ko Business aur amitabh Ko Acting Sikhaya hai
Tumne kya kiya hai?
Banta- Maine Tumhe Jooth Bolna Sikhya ha
Whats D Diff. b/w
Confidence
& Over Confidence
Confidence- U Can KISS Ur GirlFriend
Over Confidence- Only U Can KISS Her
*****************************************************
• Teacher-Dunya K Pehle Insaan Ki Nationality Kya Thi?
Boy-Indian
T-Kaise?
Boy-Uske Paas
Na Ghar Tha
Na Aata
Na Bijli
Fir B Wo Zinda tha
*****************************************************
• " pass aa kar sabhi door chale jate hain
hum akele the akele reh jate hain
dil ka dird kis ko dikhaein
marham lagane wale hi zakham de jate hain "
*****************************************************
• Snta Ki Beti Ko SMS Aaya-"I LOVE YOU"
Snta Gusse Me Beti Se-
Jisne sms Kiya Hai Usse To Mai Dekh Luga
Filhal Tum Uska Sms Usse Wapis Bhejo.
*****************************************************
• Teacher-Tum Class Main Topi Kyu Pehan Kar Aate Ho?
GOLU-Taaki Kisi ko Pata na Chale Ke
Mere Dimagh Me Kya Chal Raha Hai. :-)
*****************************************************
• Smartness of boys
Colage ka First Day
Boy:- Tumhra Name kya hai?
Gal- Mujhe Sab Didi kahte hai
Boy-wow What a Coincidence Mujhe sab Jijaji kahte
*****************************************************
• A Fully Burnt Cigaratte Ash Said..
'Today Its Me.. Because 0f U
Tomorrow Its U.. Because 0f Me'
..Plz Send It To All Ur Friends Who r Smoking..
*****************************************************
• Sir Ne SHARAB Ke Nuksaan Batane K Liye, 1Kida Isme Dala To Wo Mar Gaya
Sir-Tumne Isse Kya Sikha
Student-SHARAB Peene Se PET K Kide Mar Jate Hai
*****************************************************
• Prem Mhanje
Khel Nahi
Shwas Dyawa
Lagto
Prem Mhanje
Khel Nahi
Dhyas Ghyawa
Lagto
Preysi Jawal
Nastana Ticha
Aabhas Vhava
Lagto
*****************************************************
• 1 Chuha Sharaab k Drum me Gira or Must ho kNikla
& Soyi hui Billi k Muh p Dum Maar k Bola
"Billo Rani! kaho to abhi jaan de du......
*****************************************************
• Pyar Pyar Pyar
Pyar Pyar Pyar
Pyar Pyar Pyar
Pyar Pyar Pyar
Pyar Pyar Pyar
Dekha
Kitna Pyar bhara msg beja TUMko
*****************************************************
• Full form of banks-
HSBC: Hum Sabse Bade Chor
HDFC: Har Dum Fakir Chand
IDBI: Itna Dhan Bina Income
SBI:Sab Bhikari Idhar..
*****************************************************
• Tumhara Naam Phul Rakhu To Bikhar Jaoge
DIL Rakhu To Tut Jaoge
Chalo BIJLI Rakhta Hu
Chhod K Jaoge To 1 Ghante Baad Wapas Aa jaoge
*****************************************************
• Old Concept:- "Do or Die"
New Concept: "Do Before u die"
Latest Concept: "Don't Die Until u Do"
Our Concept:
"What TO Do?"
*****************************************************
• How Santa Like 2 Take Bath In Winter-
He Stand Infront Of D Mirror
Then
Throw Water On D Mirror
&
Says
Oh Mar Gaya Yaar, Itna Thanda Pani
*****************************************************
• Kal Ho Aaj Jaisa..
Mahal Ho Taj Jaisa..
Phool Ho Gulab Jaisa..
Aur
Jeevan Ke Har Mod Pe,
Dost Ho..
?
?
Oye Hello..
Dost Ho MERE Jaisa
*****************************************************
• Thought for the day-Many of lifes failures, are men who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
*****************************************************
• Santa:-Aaj tere cell pe bade
I L0vE U
k msg aa rahe hai.!
Kya baat hai?
Banta-(Fakr se)
O kuch nahi Ji
Aaj BIWI ka cell laya hu na
*****************************************************
• Nukrani:Malkin aap udas kyo hai?
Malkin:tumhare sahab apne office ki kisi ladki se pyar karte hai.
Nukrani:nahi sahab mujhe dhoka nahi de sakte
*****************************************************
SAGAR-mom,ye Gf kya hoti h?
Mom-jab tum bade hoke acche ladke banoge to tumhe b
1milegi
B-agr acha ladka nhi bana to?
M-to fir bahut milengi.
*****************************************************
• Gana sunoge ?
00o0oo0ooo0oooo
0ooooo0oooooo0o
ooooooHuzur
13 13 1313 13 13 1313 13 13 13Surur
Focut me to aisa hi milega
*****************************************************
Good Jok
Good Jok
• HEARTLY welcome to cool morning..
HAPPY welcome to fresh morning..
LOVELY welcome to nice morning..
GREAT welcome to new morning..
*****************************************************
• Live for the person who can die For You. Fight for the person who protects You & Love the person who Love You more than You do..
=ForHearts=
*****************************************************
• Maa-Aj School Se Itni Jaldi Kaise Aa Gye
GOLU-Machar Mara to Teacher Ne Chutti Dedi.
Maa-Aisa Kyu?
GOLU-Machar Teacher k Gaal Per Baitha Tha
*****************************************************
• Ab To Muhabbat Krne Se B Dar Laghta H Dosto
Dil Tod K Kehte H
All Izz Well
All Izz Well
*****************************************************
• 1Ganja Admi Aur 1Bowler
EK Awaz Sun K Bahut Gussa Hote H
Batao Kya.?
Socho.?
'NO BALL'..
*****************************************************
• "MAA"Ki 1Dua Zndgi Bna Degi
Khud Royegi Mgr Apko Hsa Degi
Kbhi Bhul Kar Bhi Maa Ko Na RULANA,
1Choti Si Bund puri Dhrti hila Degi! GOOD MORING!!
*****************************************************
• Tum UdaAs UdaAs Se Lagte Ho,
Koi Tarkeeb Batao ManAane Ki,
Main Zindagi Girvi RaKh Sakta Hu,
Tum Qeemat Batao MuSkurane Ki
*****************************************************
• Every night we go to bed
without any assurance of being alive
the next Morning
but still we set the alarms in our watch to wake up.
THAT'S HOPE.
*****************************************************
• When you throw a baby in the air,
she laughs because she knows
you will catch her................
..
THAT'S TRUST...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
*****************************************************
• Once
all villagers decided to pray for rain
on the day of prayer all the People gathered
but only one boy came with an umbrella
THAT'S FAITH.
*****************************************************
• 'SMILE' is not a single word..!
It is a beautiful sentence.
'S'peak
'M'ore
'I'n
'L'ess
'E'nergy
SO KEEP THE SMILE...
*****************************************************
• Judge- Aap Bahut Bahadur Hai, Aapne uss Chor ko Itna Maara !
Woman- Mujhe kya pata woh Chor Hai, Mujhe Laga Mera Pati Late Ghar Aaya hai!
*****************************************************
• Life spent with sum1 for a lifetime may b meaningless,
Bt a few moments spent with sum1 who really loves U,
Means more than a life itself
*****************************************************
• Pyar=Dukh k Bazar
Premi=Dukh k Kharidar
Premika=Dukh k Dukandar
Dad=Bich k
Diwar
Behen=Salahkar
Bhai=Peetne ko Taiyar
Ye He Pyar kA
BIG bazar
*****************************************************
• MASTER:Kanjoos bole to koun.?
STUDENT:Hm chahe jitne bhi 'sms' karen uska 'reply' jo na kare Vo
MASTER:Uski ek example do?
STUDENT: Aapki ki Beti
*****************************************************
• My song-
Kaise bataye Q girls ko chahe,
Yara bata na paye,
Padhai jo college ki,
dekho jo baki,
complete to kar na paye..
Tu jaane na.....
*****************************************************
• Voice
is
Melody
Behavior
is
Coffeebite
Feeling
is
Kitkat
Mind
is
Munch
Messages
Are
Eclairs
So,
tottally you are
my
Cho
*****************************************************
• 1 murghi Market gai,kaha-1 Anda dena.
Dukandar-Anday ka kya krogi
Murghi-Mere Pati ne kanha h
2/Rs k Liye Tum Apna Figure Kharab Mat karo...
*****************************************************
• Santa Pe Bijli Ka Taar Gir Gaya:
Santa Tarap Tarap k Marne Hi Wala Tha,
K
Use Yaad Aaya
Ke
Bijli 2 Din Se Band Hai...
*****************************************************
• Agar Himmat Hai,
To Is Sawal Ka Jawab "HA ya NA" Me Do?
"Kal Raat Ko Kutta Apke Muh Par SuSu Kar Gaya Aapko Pata Chala??
kya hua reply do?
*****************************************************
• Gal-Meri ankho me Dekho to
Kya nazr ata hai?
Boy-Tumari Ankho me pyar nazr a Rha he
Gal-Are O Aashiq ki Aulad
Aakh me kya gir Gya he wo dekh
*****************************************************
• Sochta Hu
Ye Doulat
Ye Bangla
Ye Duniya Bhar K Aisho-Aaram
Sab Chhod K Kahi
Chala Jau
Lekin
Fir
Sochta Hu
Pehle Ye Sab Mile To Sahi
*****************************************************
I
want
to live
long life..!
Not
in the
world.!
Just
in your
heart.!
As a
best
friend...
*****************************************************
• Whats the best machine known to engineering students..?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Think
.
.
.
.
Xerox machine..!
-
*****************************************************
• Duniya Me Kabhi
Acche Insan Ki
Talash Mat Karo..
Kyu Ki
Main Akshar Apne Ghar Pe Hi Rahta Hu
*****************************************************
• Hello Jaan
Plz Mera Ye sms Apne
Mummy Daddy k Samne Unchi Awaz Mai Padna
Ok?
.
Ready
.
.
.
.
Dulha Mil Gaya
Dulha Mil Gaya.....
*****************************************************
• Papa: Tumne Apni Mummy Se Unchi Aawaz Me Baat Ki?
Pappu: Mujhe Pata Hai Ki Apko Jalan Ho Rahi Hi
Kyonki Aap Aisa Nahi Kar Sakte.
*****************************************************
• 2 bar lips pe,
2 bar gaal pe,
1 bar mathe pe,
2 bar gale pe,
Coldcream zaroor lagana sardi aa gayi hai na..
(HAPPY WINTER SEASON)
*****************************************************
• Vidai k Samay DULHE ka Mob Baja
DULHAN ne Tapad Maar Diya
Ringtone Thi
DIl m CHUPAKE Pyar ka ARMAN LE Chale
Hum aaj Aapni Maut Ka Saman le Chale
*****************************************************
Kaash
Tu Bakra Hota
Me Tuje Ghas Khilata
Aur Pyar Se Tere Sing Hilata
Aur Puchta
Call Krne Me Kanjus Kaun
Tu Ya Me
Tu Pyar Se Bolte
Main-Main
*****************************************************
• GOLU-Papa Mai Kal School Nai Jaunga
Papa-Q Beta?
G-Aj School Me Hamara Wazan Kiya Gya
Papa-To Kya Hua?
G-Aaj Wazan Kiya Hai Kal Bech Diya to
*****************************************************
• Dil u Kisi pe aata nahi
Pyar U Hi Kisi se Kiya Jata nahi
Pyar Kiya to Dard To Hoga hi
Q ki
YE Dard Moov Se b Jata nahi.
*****************************************************
• Agr Mai SMS Ka Rply N Karu
Ya Mis Call N Kar Pau
Ya Kbi Call N Kru To Samajh Lena
'SMS KING' Aaram Farma Rahe Hai
Par
PRAJA Seva Karti Rahe
*****************************************************
• Height Of Worst Situation:
A Guy Takes Blade n Writes His GirlFriend's NaMe On His hands
&
&
&
Makes A Spelling Mistake..!
*****************************************************
• 100 words Doesnt Give Pan while d lecture Takes Class
but A Friend Silence in xam Hall Brings More Tears in heart :)
True Na?
*****************************************************
• Judge-Tumne Dn me Chori Karne Ki Himat kaise ki?
Chor- Mujhe is baat ka dar tha ki
Raat ko Mujhe akela Paakar Koi Loot na le..
*****************************************************
• Simple CET question
what is 2+2 =
a) 4
b) IV
c) four
d) 4.0
Ab pata chaala why science students commit suicide
*****************************************************
• Snta-Meet my wife Tina
Bnta-I know her
Snta-How
Bnta-we were caught sleeping together
Snta-Wat d hell
Bnta-during d lecture in maths class
Th
*****************************************************
• CBI Raids Mayawati's House
BathRoom-50 crores Cash
StoreRoom-50Kg Gold
& BedRoom Full of
.
.
.
.
.
.
Your Photos.
pagale
Diwa
*****************************************************
• Raat Ko 2 Sharabiyo ne Talaab me Chand Ki Parchhai Dekhi
1st- Yeh Kya hai?
2nd- Abe ye Chand hai
1st- Sale Hum Chand par Pauch gaye?
*****************************************************
• SO GAYE
( )
_; (
( )
AANKHE KHOLO
( )
_; /
(e
DONO KHOLO
(e
_; /
(e
MUSKRAO
(e
_; )
(e
OK
CHALO SO JAO
( )
_; )
( )
*****************************************************
• LADKI ko
Ghar choda
Sasural mila
Bhai choda
Devar mila
Behen chodi
Nanad mili
Maa-baap chode
Sas-Ssur mile
KYA Choda JO PATI mila
MUFT ka
*****************************************************
• Count these stars
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
AJIT
*
*
*
*
*
Oh sorry
Beech me ek
SUPER STAR aa gaya.
Ab edit karke "junior artist" ka nam mat dal
*****************************************************
• Q-I love u kehnay ka sab se behtar din konsa hai
Guess
Simple yar 1st April
Agar baat ban gaye to cool
varna keh do April Fool
*****************************************************
• Santa:Yaar Ans sheet par sabse phle kya likhu?
Banta:Yhi k IS SHEET PAR LIKHE GYE ANS KALPNIK He
JINKA KISI B BOOK SE KOI SMBANDH NAHI Hai
*****************************************************
• Jo Marzi Shakl Bnalo
(! !)Cryin
(';')Angry
(':')Bored
('-')Proud
('o')Hungry
(",)Happy
('?')Confusd
(-.-)Sleepy
Par
NAHAANA To Padega h
*****************************************************
• Do u know
GLASS toote to kya awaz ati he?
Dhuz?
No
Dhooz?
No
Thish?
Are
Nahi Baba
Mummi ki awaz ati hai
"Ab Kya Tod Diya"
*****************************************************
• Yar Ek Kaam Tha Tumse
**
***
****
**
***
*
****
***
**
*
****
**
***
Ye Star Gin k Bata Kitne He
*****************************************************
• HEARTLY welcome to cool morning..
HAPPY welcome to fresh morning..
LOVELY welcome to nice morning..
GREAT welcome to new morning..
*****************************************************
• Live for the person who can die For You. Fight for the person who protects You & Love the person who Love You more than You do..
=ForHearts=
*****************************************************
• Maa-Aj School Se Itni Jaldi Kaise Aa Gye
GOLU-Machar Mara to Teacher Ne Chutti Dedi.
Maa-Aisa Kyu?
GOLU-Machar Teacher k Gaal Per Baitha Tha
*****************************************************
• Ab To Muhabbat Krne Se B Dar Laghta H Dosto
Dil Tod K Kehte H
All Izz Well
All Izz Well
*****************************************************
• 1Ganja Admi Aur 1Bowler
EK Awaz Sun K Bahut Gussa Hote H
Batao Kya.?
Socho.?
'NO BALL'..
*****************************************************
• "MAA"Ki 1Dua Zndgi Bna Degi
Khud Royegi Mgr Apko Hsa Degi
Kbhi Bhul Kar Bhi Maa Ko Na RULANA,
1Choti Si Bund puri Dhrti hila Degi! GOOD MORING!!
*****************************************************
• Tum UdaAs UdaAs Se Lagte Ho,
Koi Tarkeeb Batao ManAane Ki,
Main Zindagi Girvi RaKh Sakta Hu,
Tum Qeemat Batao MuSkurane Ki
*****************************************************
• Every night we go to bed
without any assurance of being alive
the next Morning
but still we set the alarms in our watch to wake up.
THAT'S HOPE.
*****************************************************
• When you throw a baby in the air,
she laughs because she knows
you will catch her................
..
THAT'S TRUST...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
*****************************************************
• Once
all villagers decided to pray for rain
on the day of prayer all the People gathered
but only one boy came with an umbrella
THAT'S FAITH.
*****************************************************
• 'SMILE' is not a single word..!
It is a beautiful sentence.
'S'peak
'M'ore
'I'n
'L'ess
'E'nergy
SO KEEP THE SMILE...
*****************************************************
• Judge- Aap Bahut Bahadur Hai, Aapne uss Chor ko Itna Maara !
Woman- Mujhe kya pata woh Chor Hai, Mujhe Laga Mera Pati Late Ghar Aaya hai!
*****************************************************
• Life spent with sum1 for a lifetime may b meaningless,
Bt a few moments spent with sum1 who really loves U,
Means more than a life itself
*****************************************************
• Pyar=Dukh k Bazar
Premi=Dukh k Kharidar
Premika=Dukh k Dukandar
Dad=Bich k
Diwar
Behen=Salahkar
Bhai=Peetne ko Taiyar
Ye He Pyar kA
BIG bazar
*****************************************************
• MASTER:Kanjoos bole to koun.?
STUDENT:Hm chahe jitne bhi 'sms' karen uska 'reply' jo na kare Vo
MASTER:Uski ek example do?
STUDENT: Aapki ki Beti
*****************************************************
• My song-
Kaise bataye Q girls ko chahe,
Yara bata na paye,
Padhai jo college ki,
dekho jo baki,
complete to kar na paye..
Tu jaane na.....
*****************************************************
• Voice
is
Melody
Behavior
is
Coffeebite
Feeling
is
Kitkat
Mind
is
Munch
Messages
Are
Eclairs
So,
tottally you are
my
Cho
*****************************************************
• 1 murghi Market gai,kaha-1 Anda dena.
Dukandar-Anday ka kya krogi
Murghi-Mere Pati ne kanha h
2/Rs k Liye Tum Apna Figure Kharab Mat karo...
*****************************************************
• Santa Pe Bijli Ka Taar Gir Gaya:
Santa Tarap Tarap k Marne Hi Wala Tha,
K
Use Yaad Aaya
Ke
Bijli 2 Din Se Band Hai...
*****************************************************
• Agar Himmat Hai,
To Is Sawal Ka Jawab "HA ya NA" Me Do?
"Kal Raat Ko Kutta Apke Muh Par SuSu Kar Gaya Aapko Pata Chala??
kya hua reply do?
*****************************************************
• Gal-Meri ankho me Dekho to
Kya nazr ata hai?
Boy-Tumari Ankho me pyar nazr a Rha he
Gal-Are O Aashiq ki Aulad
Aakh me kya gir Gya he wo dekh
*****************************************************
• Sochta Hu
Ye Doulat
Ye Bangla
Ye Duniya Bhar K Aisho-Aaram
Sab Chhod K Kahi
Chala Jau
Lekin
Fir
Sochta Hu
Pehle Ye Sab Mile To Sahi
*****************************************************
I
want
to live
long life..!
Not
in the
world.!
Just
in your
heart.!
As a
best
friend...
*****************************************************
• Whats the best machine known to engineering students..?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Think
.
.
.
.
Xerox machine..!
-
*****************************************************
• Duniya Me Kabhi
Acche Insan Ki
Talash Mat Karo..
Kyu Ki
Main Akshar Apne Ghar Pe Hi Rahta Hu
*****************************************************
• Hello Jaan
Plz Mera Ye sms Apne
Mummy Daddy k Samne Unchi Awaz Mai Padna
Ok?
.
Ready
.
.
.
.
Dulha Mil Gaya
Dulha Mil Gaya.....
*****************************************************
• Papa: Tumne Apni Mummy Se Unchi Aawaz Me Baat Ki?
Pappu: Mujhe Pata Hai Ki Apko Jalan Ho Rahi Hi
Kyonki Aap Aisa Nahi Kar Sakte.
*****************************************************
• 2 bar lips pe,
2 bar gaal pe,
1 bar mathe pe,
2 bar gale pe,
Coldcream zaroor lagana sardi aa gayi hai na..
(HAPPY WINTER SEASON)
*****************************************************
• Vidai k Samay DULHE ka Mob Baja
DULHAN ne Tapad Maar Diya
Ringtone Thi
DIl m CHUPAKE Pyar ka ARMAN LE Chale
Hum aaj Aapni Maut Ka Saman le Chale
*****************************************************
Kaash
Tu Bakra Hota
Me Tuje Ghas Khilata
Aur Pyar Se Tere Sing Hilata
Aur Puchta
Call Krne Me Kanjus Kaun
Tu Ya Me
Tu Pyar Se Bolte
Main-Main
*****************************************************
• GOLU-Papa Mai Kal School Nai Jaunga
Papa-Q Beta?
G-Aj School Me Hamara Wazan Kiya Gya
Papa-To Kya Hua?
G-Aaj Wazan Kiya Hai Kal Bech Diya to
*****************************************************
• Dil u Kisi pe aata nahi
Pyar U Hi Kisi se Kiya Jata nahi
Pyar Kiya to Dard To Hoga hi
Q ki
YE Dard Moov Se b Jata nahi.
*****************************************************
• Agr Mai SMS Ka Rply N Karu
Ya Mis Call N Kar Pau
Ya Kbi Call N Kru To Samajh Lena
'SMS KING' Aaram Farma Rahe Hai
Par
PRAJA Seva Karti Rahe
*****************************************************
• Height Of Worst Situation:
A Guy Takes Blade n Writes His GirlFriend's NaMe On His hands
&
&
&
Makes A Spelling Mistake..!
*****************************************************
• 100 words Doesnt Give Pan while d lecture Takes Class
but A Friend Silence in xam Hall Brings More Tears in heart :)
True Na?
*****************************************************
• Judge-Tumne Dn me Chori Karne Ki Himat kaise ki?
Chor- Mujhe is baat ka dar tha ki
Raat ko Mujhe akela Paakar Koi Loot na le..
*****************************************************
• Simple CET question
what is 2+2 =
a) 4
b) IV
c) four
d) 4.0
Ab pata chaala why science students commit suicide
*****************************************************
• Snta-Meet my wife Tina
Bnta-I know her
Snta-How
Bnta-we were caught sleeping together
Snta-Wat d hell
Bnta-during d lecture in maths class
Th
*****************************************************
• CBI Raids Mayawati's House
BathRoom-50 crores Cash
StoreRoom-50Kg Gold
& BedRoom Full of
.
.
.
.
.
.
Your Photos.
pagale
Diwa
*****************************************************
• Raat Ko 2 Sharabiyo ne Talaab me Chand Ki Parchhai Dekhi
1st- Yeh Kya hai?
2nd- Abe ye Chand hai
1st- Sale Hum Chand par Pauch gaye?
*****************************************************
• SO GAYE
( )
_; (
( )
AANKHE KHOLO
( )
_; /
(e
DONO KHOLO
(e
_; /
(e
MUSKRAO
(e
_; )
(e
OK
CHALO SO JAO
( )
_; )
( )
*****************************************************
• LADKI ko
Ghar choda
Sasural mila
Bhai choda
Devar mila
Behen chodi
Nanad mili
Maa-baap chode
Sas-Ssur mile
KYA Choda JO PATI mila
MUFT ka
*****************************************************
• Count these stars
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
AJIT
*
*
*
*
*
Oh sorry
Beech me ek
SUPER STAR aa gaya.
Ab edit karke "junior artist" ka nam mat dal
*****************************************************
• Q-I love u kehnay ka sab se behtar din konsa hai
Guess
Simple yar 1st April
Agar baat ban gaye to cool
varna keh do April Fool
*****************************************************
• Santa:Yaar Ans sheet par sabse phle kya likhu?
Banta:Yhi k IS SHEET PAR LIKHE GYE ANS KALPNIK He
JINKA KISI B BOOK SE KOI SMBANDH NAHI Hai
*****************************************************
• Jo Marzi Shakl Bnalo
(! !)Cryin
(';')Angry
(':')Bored
('-')Proud
('o')Hungry
(",)Happy
('?')Confusd
(-.-)Sleepy
Par
NAHAANA To Padega h
*****************************************************
• Do u know
GLASS toote to kya awaz ati he?
Dhuz?
No
Dhooz?
No
Thish?
Are
Nahi Baba
Mummi ki awaz ati hai
"Ab Kya Tod Diya"
*****************************************************
• Yar Ek Kaam Tha Tumse
**
***
****
**
***
*
****
***
**
*
****
**
***
Ye Star Gin k Bata Kitne He
*****************************************************
Nice Jok
Nice Jok
· Ek Shrabi Ka Court Mein Case Chal Raha Tha
'ORDER ORDER'
'Ek CHILLI CHICKEN, One ROYAL STAG With SODA' Jaldi
Kya awaaj aati h?
Crush?
No!
Thish?
Nhi yar
Mummy ki awaj ati h,
"Tod do,
Sab tod do kambkhto.
Kuch mat baki rkhna ghar m
Kani, mani, pani, wani
Mao, bao, lao, kao, zoo
Aap Theak To Hai?
Kya khayal h apka
Hum to uth gaye ho..ho..ho..!
Tum b uth jao ha..ha..ha.!
Good Morning!
*****************************************************· Every girl wants frnd
sum1 special
sum1 nice
sum1 cute
sum1 smart
sum1 sweet
sum1 honest
Tabi me sochu
sare mere piche kyu pa
*****************************************************· Help ever
Hurt never,
Love ever
Hate never,
Smile ever
Cry never,
Give ever
Except never...
Its creat you a good life.
*****************************************************Pune Update-
My dear punekar
pune me huye bombsblast ka nishedh karate hai
darna nahi
Pune hamara hai
hamara rahega
Live Life punekar style.
*****************************************************RakshBndhan Pe Ladki Ko Chedne Pe Bhai Banati Hai
To
Valentine Day Ko Chedne Pe Lover Kyu Nahi Banati
MSG ko aag ki tarah faila do
INSAF chahiye
*****************************************************Hazaaro Ladkiya Aati Hai
Hazaaro Jati Hai
Hazaaro Hasati Hai
Aur Rulati Hai
Par Dosto
Saath Wahi Nibhati Hai
Jo Doli Me Beth Kar Aati
*****************************************************· Raat Ko Sms Karne K Fayde
Dost Ho Ya Dushman Sab Ki Nind Tut Jati H
Time Pass Ho Jata Hai
Padne Wale Ko Ghussa Ata H
Fir B Wo Kch Kr Nai Pata H
*****************************************************· Is Month Ki
29 Ko Meri Mehndi Hai
30 Ko Baarat Jayegi
31 ko reception Hoga
U and ur
*****************************************************· Apka valentine partner bhej raha hu
(\ /)
/¤¤) "^----- ;";
\,,/"( , , )\\
// \\ // \\
Ab thnx bolne ki zrurat nahi
*****************************************************· Kisi ne pucha: Tum sabko sms bhejhte ho, Tumhe kya milta hai?Maine Has kar kaha: Dena Lena to "VYAPAAR" hai,Jo dekar na mange Wohi to PYAAR HAI.
*****************************************************· namaskar.
aaj shivratri aahe.
HAPPY MAHASHIVRATRI.
JAI SHUDHLESHWAR PRASSANNA.
buwaji baba prassanna.
R
*****************************************************· Gadhe Hai Wo Log
Jo 14Feb Ko Propose Karte Hai
Meri Mano
1st April Ko Propose Karo
Maan Gayi To 'I LOVE U'..
Gussa Kiya To 'APRIL FOOL'..
*****************************************************· Man at God's shop
Lord what do u sell?
God- Whatever ur
Man- I want Peace Hpyness & Freedom
God smiled n said
Sorry son- I sell on
*****************************************************· PUNEKAR MITRANO Consider this:
DARUwala pool
TADIwala road
BATLIwala garden
QUARTER gate
I feel
We live in a to-tally drunken city :-
3 cheers
*****************************************************· Patni Kise Kehte Hai.?
Jo Pati Ko
Tok Tok K
Uski Sari Adate Badal Deti Hai
Aur
Fir Kehti Hai
'Aap Pehle Jaise Nahi Rahe Ho, Badal Gaye Ho'
*****************************************************· 1 Bar Santa USA Gaya
Waha Church me Gaya to Achank Waha aawaz i TANN
Ittefaq se Lyt b Chali Gayi
Santa Dar kar Bola
Oye Bhago Undertaker aa gaya USA Gaya
Waha Church me Gaya to Achank Waha aawaz i TANN
Ittefaq se Lyt b Chali Gayi
Santa Dar kar Bola
Oye Bhago Undertaker aa gaya
Ek week ke baad Valentine's Day aa jyega
Abi b waqt he kisi se Afair chala lo
Vrna ye Valentine b akele guzar jyega.
*****************************************************· Height of ProfessionAl Respect-
A BeggAr Won
50 LAkh Rupees lottery
&
took A
Golden plAte
for
begging.
So Dont Insult Ur
*****************************************************· Good Morning Frnds
Today Is..
Kya.
Socho
Today Is,
CHOCOLATE DAY.
to kab chocolate khane bula rahe ho.
##########
##########
*****************************************************· Ek DOGGY subah se sham tak bhonkta tha.
BAOBAO
BAOBAO
BAOBAO
BAOBAO
BAOBAO
HA BILKUL AISAY HI
*****************************************************· Excellent LOVE Quote:
I Don't Fear
to lose her..
but..
My fear is that,
If i lose her
"Who Will
LOVE HER LIKE ME"??
*****************************************************· Date sheet aa gaye he Tayari Shuru Kar do:-
9-Rose Day
10-Prapose Day
11-Choclate
12-Taddy
13- Kiss Day
14-Valentine Day
27-Marathi Bhasha Day
*****************************************************
Ladki ne ghr se bhag k shadi ki
5 din bad wo rote hove wapas aayi
Baap:Ab kyu aai ho?
Ladki:Papa wo BMW k driver nikla
N95 b china wala tha
*****************************************************· Yeh Jo Hath Me
4inch ka dabba Pakda H Na,
Ye Sirf Msg
Receive Krne K
Liye Nhi H,
Is Se Msg B Hote H,
Try karke dekho.
ab muskrao try MAT kro
*****************************************************· LOVE YOU
Send this msg to 10 GIRLS n
WIN a free TRIP to your's nearest POLICE STATION in luxury JEEP,
ReHnA KhAnA
n Body Massaj Free
*****************************************************· Reaction of girls when they loose their purse
Poor girls-my money
Rich grls-my credit card
College girls- O SHIT!
Usme "Raja" ka photo tha
*****************************************************· Tumhe Pata Hai
Aishwarya
Deepika
Shahrukh
Aur
Salman Ko Garmi Q Nhi Lagti
Qki
Qki Unke Bahut Sare Fans Hai.
*****************************************************· England
Hindu Mothr-Shubh Ratri Beta
Muslim Mothr-Shaba khair
Aur apni mummy
Are is mobile ko aag laga de aur so ja
*****************************************************· HEARTLY welcome to cool morning..
HAPPY welcome to fresh morning..
LOVELY welcome to nice morning..
GREAT welcome to new morning..
*****************************************************· Bacha Mithai Ki Dukan Pe
Ladki Se-Jab Me Bada Ho Jauga Ap Muj Se Shadi Krogi
Ldki Haste Hue-Ha
B-Fir,Apne Hone Wale Pati Ko Mithai Nhi Khilaog
*****************************************************
'ORDER ORDER'
'Ek CHILLI CHICKEN, One ROYAL STAG With SODA' Jaldi
Kya awaaj aati h?
Crush?
No!
Thish?
Nhi yar
Mummy ki awaj ati h,
"Tod do,
Sab tod do kambkhto.
Kuch mat baki rkhna ghar m
Kani, mani, pani, wani
Mao, bao, lao, kao, zoo
Aap Theak To Hai?
Waha Church me
Ittefaq se Lyt b Chali Gayi
Santa Dar kar Bola
Oye Bhago Undertaker aa
Waha Church me
Ittefaq se Lyt b Chali Gayi
Santa Dar kar Bola
Oye Bhago Undertaker aa
5 din bad wo rote hove wapas aayi
Baap:Ab kyu aai ho?
Ladki:Papa wo BMW k driver nikla
N95 b china wala tha
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